Border Crossing

Border Crossing

 

 

 

I stopped considering

the choice of free verse

cost me many readers

who wanted normalcy

 

my pen never knew what that is

I siphoned metaphor

through a tight straw

that blew apart

when the words got crowded

 

alone in that room of many poets

I searched their eyes

and found irises not blooming

but judging with disgust

 

Why can't you be like everyone else

who writes rhyme in time 

five beats per line

show us short long short long short long

 

and we will crop our attitude

and let you in

 

it's a free country

but not a free verse

 

iambic pentameter

keeps us in line

 

and you, dear poet

are way out of line

reign yourself into terse verse

 

or you will stand out in the rain

counting syllables 

like the drops hitting your head

with askew inspiration.

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/1/24

Reviews

[Desert Knave]

When I first started sharing poetry online I was hit with the opposite ... being informed that rhymed and metered poetry was trite and sing-song. But, that's what my pen likes to do. I like your verses. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I have found a lot of rhyming poetry that is not sing-songy...but rather subtle in the rhyme and quite nice to read.
j.

[keith]

can you say 'stick in the mud'?
once again ... welcome to this side of the tracks where bygones are gone
where 'norm' is a drunk buddy and a friendly dog named dog
there is no rhyme there is no reason for their resistance
common sense is a myth

welcome to the land of fresh air friend ... fresh air

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your response, keith,
j.

[Vol]

Jacob,
Thanks! There are so many responses to those who judge from inside their cages. What most of them lack is the ability to find a voice of their own. So they borrow someone else's and write sh*tty poetry from then on. It is amazing to me that unless it sounds like something from a hallmark card, they don't get it. Or, now they are serious writers when they lose their grammar, because an eleventh-grade English teacher made them read E.E. Cummings. Poetry is the EASIEST of all the arts. Someone had something to say and said it in plain English. It isn't the poetry, it is the pretentious stupidity of shallow THINKING to impose lines and angles on flowing water.
Hahahaha! Phew!
Vol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Vol...it takes much time and writing to find our own voice...but patience and practice gets us there sooner or later.
j.

[Dave Brown]

LOL, I wouldn't say it has cost you many readers, with you being one of the most popular writers on this site!
Ever since I started here, 4or5 yrs. ago, free style has become ever more popular.
I don't dislike freestyle but with me being basically stuck in the rhyming format, where I seem to be most comfortable, I am inclined to think of free verse as almost prose written in a poetic style.
However, I think that both I and my strict rhyming style are both steadily fading away.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I might not concur on that, Dave.
I think at this time both rhyme and free verse are accepted....just like haiku and senryu seem to be straying from their original form.
Anything is acceptable.
thank you for sharing,
j.

[IC]

This sounds like you were excluded at some point because of the voice and style you chose to adopt for your poetry. Having read some of it now, I and others here, see no issue with your choice. Rhyme always appeals to the reader when done properly because of its musicality and flow but free verse can take the reader in places they never expected to go. Free or restricted? The choice is ours to decide but regardless it is the heart of any poem that really matters. With your use of poetic devices, metaphor and life experience, your poetry has the right ingredients to stir the mind and soul. Besides, there is much rhyming poetry everywhere, and when it is done badly, it sticks out like a terribly sore, infected thumb. I’d be happy to stand out in that rain and let the syllables hit my head with you. Excellent poem, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Okay, I'll bring the umbrella in case they start hitting us too hard. Thanks, Izabella.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Oh for freedom of expression to write in the style that suits you. Who wants to be like everyone else? I feel rhyme though beautiful, can be restrictive. Feels like wearing a corset which you want to bust out of lol. I like the flexibility of writing wherever the muse takes me. I would hate to feel cornered. Border Crossing. Yes I did. Crossed over from rhyme and meter into free verse. Great write j.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You just reminded me of Scarlett and Mami in that scene from Gone with the Wind. "It ain't right, it ain't right, it just ain't right"
j.

[nadia dmitri]

Poems about people writing poetry are always so interesting, amazing amazing job. The beauty of poetry is how broad it can become while still making us feel something, I love free verse, I love your free verse, great job :)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, nadia,
j.

[Anita Frader]

In school, as a young girl, all.the poems we were taught were rhyming poems
I find free verse to be much more honest. No cares about following rules, counting syllables, searching for words that rhyme with orange.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, honest....I do find some rhymes to be just as...when they seem natural.
and there is something to be said for all styles.
thank you, Anita,
j.

[Miss Sharon]

( you will stand out in the rain counting syllables like the drops hitting your head with askew inspiration.) Pure magic my friend! Love the entire post. ~Sharon

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Sharon,
j.