after many rewrites of self

after many rewrites of self

 

 

 

I am the figurative version

of a poem

ending in ellipses 

 

which means

I go on in the imagination

as if there is no severance

to my sentence of life

 

strange invasions

thoughts caught in a cup of dreams

cream and sugar doubtful

better black and strong

 

strong enough

to put me in a literal

state

 

a highway of metaphor

to find out just who I am

 

and why I write.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/10/24

Reviews

[willweb]

The opening of this is fantastic and what a way to see ourselves, our hopes, our thoughts, our poetry...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, will,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

Me too Jacob. I have accepted I must write now. My last real pleasure and reading. Of course. I hope you warm and cozy. Here in Michigan. Zero degrees and snowy. Grandchildren are happy. A snow day tomorrow. No school. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

It is warm here today, 13 degrees...

we had been 0 and below the past few days...
read moreIt is warm here today, 13 degrees...

we had been 0 and below the past few days...
Good for the Grandchildren...funny....when I was a kid and student I loved snow days. As a teacher, I hate them.

[D. Mansfield]

Your writing is amazing and complex, I enjoy everything you write because I have to look up a fact, or a word, I learn from you, those facts and words, as well as the write. Thank you

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for those encouraging words, D.
j.

[Desert Knave]

I like this a lot (and love to end with an ellipsis when the mood hits), it speaks to much of the reason I keep trying to write. Nicely done. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for relating, Jim.
j.

[Andrew John]

An ellipsis can take us away in strange ways. (Seems to happen too often to me!) Nice thought here.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes it does. Thank you, Andrew,
j.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Jacob,

In order to be a teacher, one must exhibit by example the very things that you teach: The English language, its proper structure and usage, its Poetry and Literature ...

Is this why you write? I think not. Some are natural born carpenters, masons, craftsmen, fishermen, even soldiers ... Others are natural born writers, an honorable form of craftsman, a wordsmith, if you will ...

I might add that you do ply your gift and trade quite well, and above is a fine example ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Marve,
j.

[John the Baptist]

Sounds like being stuck on an endless race track. But of course the race will end. Biology will see to that. Maybe though, that black coffee will put you in a "literal state" and ready for self discovery. Try it with a shot of bourbon.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Ha ha, thanks John,
j.

[Stella Armour]

"Cream and Sugar" just isn't you Jacob ; black and strong , in mind and pen anyway is how i see you.
Ellipses ? well, there is a lot to be said for not being a never ending circle .... how boring that would be.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Stella,
j.

[emmajoygreen]

Your words suggest to me.. and am frequently wrong about this and that.. perhaps you are still trying to find out if what you write is what you feel or what you imagine. If you imagine then, is that of you or from you, in which case what is it. Perhaps that is the unknown element of how we imagine. If anyone can discover the truth or the maybe, sir jacob, it will be you.

'strong enough
to put me in a literal
state

a highway of metaphor
to find out just who I am

and why I write.'

[jacob erin-cilberto]

That is insightful...I am not sure of a lot of things...why, and if it is something I should keep doing.
Thank you, em,
j.

[emmajoygreen]

Friends do their best in a hundred ways, jacob

[Chris Shaw]

strong enough
to put me
in a literal state

cream and sugar doubtful
better black and strong

Some prefer to add a little sweetness and a little cream to their writes. Done don’t. Are we what we write? We may be but then on other occasions we might be someone else entirely. Hope I caught the flow of meaning here j.

Why do we write? Compelled. it’s that simple.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Are we what we write? yes, that is the question...how much do we want to bare when we write?