a Father in Twilight

a Father in Twilight

we met somewhere between

rustic humor

and caustic dementia

in his sleep he remembered me clearly

awake I was a strange acquaintance

on the overpass

just outside the town of lucid population

his clouded eyes

searched

I spotted him in the murky silence

that became his world

but it was better for both of us

to just let him pass by

as if unnoticed...

virtually, diminished the pain

of two hearts in the rain.

erin-cilberto

1/5/24

Reviews

[NormaZ]

Reading this poem, I could feel the pain. I liked the way you describe dementia as ‘caustic dementia’. What a great way to describe it. My Dad had dementia too. I also loved ‘on the overpass just outside the town of lucid population’. Nice!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Norma. It really hit him very late as he was heading to 98....he had many moments of being lucid until the last year or so.
But it was tough seeing that sharp, sharp man who took care of his family so wonderfully...get helpless.
j.

[carl]

such an elegantly worded work, you have captured the dilemma - approach and if so, how or is it better to let it slide. A battle that many have experienced Ill prepared for the encounter. Great sense of tenderness here. Been there done that not easy -carl

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your understanding words, carl,
j.

[emmajoygreen]

Such conspicuous pain for you, jacob. Sensitively and finely written words, jacob, as always. I wonder - if I may, were they harder or easier to write than other poems?
A close friend with a dear mother i had known for twenty odd years said when I asked after Edie, 'Em.. I so wish I could have my mum back.' I didn't really know what that meant - how could I, but it helped me understand - just a little.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Much harder, em.
No detachment allowed...the tears write them.
j.

[emmajoygreen]

How do I respond to that, my friend. Time to fade

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Powerful and most poignant to me in that my late wife suffered from early dementia and would wake up wondering who the hell I was for about 20 minutes or so each morning. Had COVID not taken her, I was going to lose her to the land of forgoten-ness one day not too far down the dementia road ...

Marve

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am so sorry...that had to be excrutiating, Marve.
j.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham]

Yeah, but I would not trade those last five years we spent together, me taking care her, for anything in this screwed up world ... It has taken me these past two years to retrain my mind, stop cooking meals for the both of us, stop thinking of what we are going to do every day, stop waking up expecting to see her sitting on the side of the bed trying to figure out where the hell she was each morning, frowning, puzzled, looking pissed off at something, to then, suddenly smile as she realized who I was, and I was still there ... Something that most folks just don't understand about this particular type of grieving process of most unusual circumstances of an a*****e husband the first go round making good for her when it counted most ...

[Gee]

"I love you but I don't know why" this one of the saddest lines I have ever read as it was said to a son or daughter whilst visiting a much loved parent who was suffering with Dementia.
I remember your dad passing as if it was yesterday. My heart goes out to.you Jacob.
Take care

[jacob erin-cilberto]

It does seem like yesterday...six years now...and ten since my mom did.
thank you, Gee,
j.

[June bug]

Dementia is horrible. My Uncle and grandma and a cousin of mine all passed away
from Dementia. it was so sad to watch them die that way. This is a sad write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Dementia is the absolue saddest...especially because most know and understand they are going through it.
thanks for your kind and understanding words, June bug.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

The murky silence of dementia. What a haunting place that is. When the loved one sitting before you doesn’t know who you are. You are a stranger in an unknown land.

two hearts in the rain

and the rain isn’t going to stop and you know it. It is a most cruel disease.

I see it all the time when I visit my aunt. I see people who are shells, with no visitors, empty shells, waiting to die.

The saddest route to death. A lonely pathway where all dignity has gone with the setting of an unkind sun.

Hurts the heart, does this poem j.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

It hurt to write, Chris...I am grateful his dementia was short term.
Thank you for your understanding,
j.