the semantics of being

the semantics of being

 

 

 

 

as the distance expanded itself

the we became me

 

and the you departed

the us a little engine

leaking oil

 

a cigarette out on the porch

you inside on a cell

lamenting to a friend

 

the miles became the we

driven away by two pronouns

that were never quite able

 

to replace the nouns

that once loved

being in a sentence together

as compound subjects.

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/22/63

Reviews

[Lorry]

Nicely nicington, sir worderator.
Love the journey from then to now, via us, you and she.
Thanks for making me smile this not so fine brrr morning Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lorry.
j.

[Marina J.]

Felt every word 💔 Thank you ❤

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Marina. Glad you could.
j.

[Desert Knave]

This is very good. I recall much more clearly the distance the ex-wife and I had between us in retrospect than I did while I was the one out on the porch. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I felt that distance...
Thanks, Jim,
j.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Poetry is the best way to sneak up on an emotion.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like that...yes to sneak up on an emotion.
j.

[John the Baptist]

Really liked the metaphors in this one. Even the most intense relationships will disintegrate if not nourished.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you John...and yes..something like Friar Lawrence said in R and J..."Violent delights meet violent ends"

[W. Barrett Munn]

I’m constantly amazed how well you weave a tale from the mechanics of our shared language. A+ teach.

Winston

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Winston....so, this time I don't need to do extra credit.
j.

[W. Barrett Munn]

It can never hurt to do extra credit, though. :-)

[Chris Shaw]

Distance spells danger. It grows so easily. Poignant write of what was not to be. You can be in the same room and feel the distance acutely. Felt the sadness here J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

And that is true loneliness...Thank you, Chris.
j.

[Stu. T.H.]

Your work reminded me of the creativity in the English penway, the use of grammar and fun in composing verses can inspire many creative works to be born. As for the work itself, it is such a distillation of common feelings, like a soul being trained until it sparks, like a rough stone being smoothened by the river currents, to perfect one's mind, soul and feelings to the degree of an artisan, to convey thoughts in the most fluid way. So perfectly refined and styled, a reminiscing and educated read. It has been long since I last read a work that is so tenderly close to my feelings with such fluid depths.
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful work, author Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your extensive review, Stu,
j.

[noddingoff]

this is poignant and intelligent. i love the analogy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, nodding,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

I Studied all this in High School where we diagramed sentences with Emotion like a Roller Coaster … we were thrilled! Now Winter is setting in and our Engine is Still; however, our Smiles are Headlights on Bright! Wishing you a safe trip through Wonderland into the New Year 2024. gently, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Me too...so much diagramming...I actually enjoyed it.
thanks, Pat,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Yes, it helps to understand the structure of Conversation. Our teacher Mrs. Plymire taught English Literature also. Pat