near the poem

near the poem

the rain slants

flowers bend

rhyme comes close

to blooming.

erin-cilberto

10/31

Reviews

[Vol]

Jacob,
Thunderation! And the sudden lightning of a poem!
Vol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Vol,
j.

[Vol]

No, Sir! Thank YOU!!!

[D]

If used, the rhyming should be such that it sways the flowers in the poem and deepens their hues, rather than crushing them. The imagery in this poem is of a gentle rain upon a flower and it was beautiful to think about.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Divya,
j.

[Cherrie Palmer]

The depths of a poem comes from the layering of images and emotions and this power packed piece is a perfect example of layering concentrated in a few words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Cherrie,
j.

[Gee]

As you know I quite enjoy writing in rhyme, hopefully not to forced. I think it is the child in me remembering mum read simple rhyming poetry, when she had the time which wasn't often.
Good morning Jacob, hope all is well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

That has to be great memories of your mum reading to you...
thanks, Gee,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

My stuff hardly ever rhymes
I like to read rhyming and non rhyming
I like all writing actually
I love to read others and what they are thinking or going through especially if it’s about themselves
I love flowers too
Competing for the sun bending twisting exercising their right to sun water and earth

Loved your short write ✍️

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really love your reply...it is how I feel about writing in general...and most poetry...
I read, I learn and I feel inspired, especially among all the wonderful poets on this site.
They have been giving me inspiration for around 14 years now.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

I joined in 2017 it was just after I stopped 🥳🍷 so glad I came to wc and met such great writers ! Like yourself included

[willweb]

Some like rhymes and some don't. To me, a smooth rhyme lends itself to an easier reading...A forced rhyme is...well, A flower growing in the wild, finding the rain helps it to bloom is far more durable than a green house flower forced to bloom to make a quick sale...they don't last near as long. Wow, sorry I got carried away Jacob. I enjoyed this.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like your reference to green house flowers, for a quick sale.
thank you for your words, will,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

When the autumn breeze sings ... the Angels spread their wings over the new born prodigies... Wishing you a World of discoveries. softly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Pat,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Apart from this brevity being visually pretty and the refreshing rain eventually allowing the flower to bloom perfectly, I thought about the place of rhyme in poetry. Both slant and full rhyme has its place, providing it is subtle. I don’t like forced rhyme. Internal rhyme is always a great tool to use in my opinion. A clever little poem J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

When you use rhyme it is natural...that is the kind of rhyme that gets near the poem but does not pillage it.
j.