Living within the parameters of pentameter

Living within the parameters of pentameter

carpet-like lawns

every blade in place

Mailboxes in exact rows

portioned from the street

poised like sentinels at the edge of driveways

paved perfectly the same

two story dwellings

with the same endings

similar characters

and plots worth yawns

identity is identical

the script is written

no improvising,

know your lines

don't stray from poetic position

or you will be kicked out of the neighborhood

allow yourself diction outside the picket fence

but don't let your dog drop any syllables

in the neighbors' yards

Iambic houses

painted with the same rhymes

Comfortable existence for all

let those in the Black Mountain rebels

veer from the pattern

we're all cloned caricatures of convention.

erin-cilberto

10/22/23

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I hate those gated communities I believe owners should do what they want on their properties.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thanks, Dale. and great pic.
j.

[Dennis Wolf]

Living that kind of life is boring.. Pointless.. It's not even life.
Just trash.
Cheers

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Dennis....I agree.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

I don’t want to write in a straight jacket. I want to breathe. I like choice and variety. An appetizing menu not a set dish. Wonderful metaphor J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

And you write with such variety, Chris...and that is talent that both inside and outside the box.read moreAnd you write with such variety, Chris...and that is talent that both inside and outside the box.
j.

[D. Mansfield]

I loved this poem, I learned the English language at our dinner table growing up. Didn't realize how far ahead of the masses, that placed us. It has served me well and still learning

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing this, D.
j.

[FGFRANKLIN]

To defy form one must first define it. Some seem to worry about thinking outside the box. But I've never been inside the box so it's not a personal concern. "Write me a poem; sing me a song, tell me a story I don't yet know." Rhyme is a tool in the poet's toolbox but it would be a rather empty box if it's the only lonely tool in there. Description, alliteration, metaphor, personification, simile, hyperbole, onomatopoeia...and the list continues of the tools that could be used. But just as in reality, the metaphor here, applies. No matter what job you set out to accomplish, you're going to need the right tool for the task. Form, as such, isn't an enemy but it also shouldn't be a tyrant dictator in control of every expression. Just my thoughts. I enjoyed the read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, not a tyrant dictator...thank you, Fabian,
j.

[AYVID N]

No unauthorized structures allowed. The poem reminded me of the 50 storied apartments in our metropolises. Each storey with 10 cloned, identical flats. I marveled at that kind of identical, anonymous existence. What a brilliant metaphor!

"allow yourself diction outside the picket fence
but don't let your dog drop any syllables"

Loved that line.

Be 'good' or be banished.!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you dear friend...
j.