a dam of inconvenience

a dam of inconvenience

 

 

projected whereabouts

a shallow grave

for a shallow heart

 

be silent,

the earthen sod 

will still cover

 

but when the rain

of all the tears of pain

you caused, comes calling

 

you will wash away

with the others

like you.

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/23/23

Reviews

[Soren]

A poignant but difficult poem to read in that it causes self reflection. The anger of the narrator can be felt in the last lines. It feels that the dirt and sod that covers this grave is the rage of past offenses and that it will wash away with the tears of pain not being worth the remembrance. This poem stings with restrained emotion.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Soren,
j.

[Tom]

Difficult indeed to shake of all that hurt and betrayal but given time and with much reflection eventually a purging of such emotions will dissipate... One hopes???

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we can only hope...thank you, Tom,
j.

[AYVID N]

I felt the punch there. The last line is stunning my friend. In that dismissal, I felt anger and hurt pride and something else that would, perhaps let the criminal feel absolved and vindicated. This was such a different mood of yours. Loved it!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Divya...
appreciate you.
j.

[Cherrie Palmer]

... a shallow grave for a shallow heart...
Extremely clever

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Cherrie,
j.

[redzone]

do I hear the scuffling sound of Karma's feet in this poem Jacob?

it's funny how a poem can take you in two different directions. in the beginning, I thought you had read some Edgar Allen (Tale Tell Heart), but quickly was led away to see it wasn't your heart being washed away, but hers. but Jacob, perhaps much more satisfying than washing her shallow heart away, would be to bury it deeper, put it in concrete, and cast it out to the ocean.... er... did I mention something about karma's revenge??? hmmmm, maybe I should not have read that Steven King novel last night... sorry...

as for the poem itself, you are a poet extraordinaire in describing the emotions of a broken heart...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Curt,
j.

[Arundass TP]

Interesting poem. enjoyed reading 🙂

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Arundass,
j.

[John the Baptist]

Has a touch of bitterness to it, as in one who has been burned. Schadenfreude is not good for the soul.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

nor for the heart,
thank you, John,
j.

[emmajoygreen]

There are people.. somewhat like words, who need to hurt, spite - like trolls and hypocrites that wander unheavenly places, doing whatever they can to drag others to hell. Jacob, this poem is as loud as I've ever read from you. Its power is undeniable, sir.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, em,
j.

[emmajoygreen]

My words were somewhat vehement but - true. However, should have focused more on your skills, jacob. Apologies.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

For what? I appreciated your reaction and you pretty much nailed the emotion I was feeling as I wrote it.
j.

[emmajoygreen]

You are such a gentleman, jacob!

[Ken Simm.]

I found this poem stayed with me when I left it. Perhaps waiting for me to come and give my thoughts which were sad and grey. That, perhaps was a sign of its intensity and quality.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ken,
j.