Mother

Mother

 

 

Mother,

you were a sonnet

in strict meter,

some beautiful imagery mixed

with comfortable notions of rhyme

because that won't stray from the truth

 

maybe a little free verse child

might be rejected

and readers will sense

it was poorly raised

and should have been revised

 

to fit in

to the structure of what society expects

 

Oh, I visit your ashes in my mind

and they color my heart with gray spills

I still try to rhyme when I can to please you

 

I know it does....

but I am out of character

and finally start to wonder

 

what would Father think of this

would he appreciate me sowing my poetic oats

in controversy

would he say I have guts

or lack tact

to please Mother

 

my strange writing has no siblings

and I have to hide my pen

under the bed

a shadow in the night light.

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/11/23

Reviews

[Chris]

We ARE ...ourselves... unique to the forms that empowered and molded us.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we are, Chris...we are a reflection of those who raised us.
thank you,
j.

[Maria E. Mendez]

This is so sad. It made me sigh. As children we want to be accepted, to have friends, make friends, etc. I think it matters very much when we get older. Our first lessons in social hierarchy learned at home. I liked reading this even though it was sad for me. MM

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Maria...Yes, wanting and having to be accepted...as kids we are like that....Insightful review..
j.

[John the Baptist]

Getting Freudian here. When Mom knows best and has fixed beliefs, free spirits may feel restricted, maybe unappreciated. Free verse may not be respected by a died in the wool rhymer. The bottom line, of course, is that our moms loved us, Walt Whitman notwithstanding.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Leaves of Mothers...
thank you, John,
j.

[Soyam]

Beautifully crafted...
You made me, hug my mom tight... but again I'm failed to say, how much I love her. ❤

Crafted with love. Thanks for the beautiful artwork.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am glad you hugged her...they need to know while we still have them.
j.

[NormaZ]

Beautiful poem, I especially loved the imagery in the last few lines, “my strange writings have no siblings, and I have to hide my pen under the bed.” Since it is about your parents I was wondering if you were feeling that the poem would have to be hidden from them? It’s hard writing about family, but you did it beautifully.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Both are gone now....but if they are looking down, they have read it.
Thank you for your words, NormaZ.
j.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

We carry aspects of those that came before us both the good and bad. Without the painful parts what wisdoms would we instill or rage convey within our art? There are many great writers haunted by their past and inspired by it. They use their pain to create greater things, and instill profound wisdom. We may never live up to the expectations our of parents, because they tend to want of us the things they were incapable of achieving. So their disappointments become our own. It may not be out of a lack of love, or contempt for the choices we make. But I have seen a hidden pride in the eyes of parents incapable of revealing such joy to their progeny. But for artists it is difficult not to place these hidden pains within our work. For truth is of hard to hide in-between our words. Especially from the hard lessons of life. I am haunted by your illuminating and truthful poem my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your insights, Carlos,
j.

[red93]

This is Fabulous Jacob and it is a major event when you are able to write about your Parents - I always feel some magic is released when a Poet does this. My own dear departed Mother wanted me to be a Lawyer ! Thank you for sharing this excellent Piece ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, red,
j.

[Lorry]

Wow Jacob! That line about still trying tighten to please your mother has changed my mind about rhyming and given me a reason not to avoid it as much as possible.
I think I fit more into your second free verse, but I shall no longer avoid rhyme like it's the kid everyone says smells in class.
This is a truly beautiful piece and I never even knew the woman, but all that matters is she was a sonnet to you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lorry,
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I've written several pieces about my mother through the years after losing her, though I've never compared her to a sonnet. How beautiful! It reads like nothing you've written before, Jacob...at least for me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Kelly,
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This is beautiful and immediately set my thoughts to my own mother. No matter how old we become, we are still a reflection of where we came from.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, we are. Thank you, Linda Marie,
j.