in my crypt

in my crypt


the late lamp lit low
the keys cornered casually creating
night's nearly notched another midnight

as I write renderings relishing reminiscence
poetically stalking sacharrine sequences
in soliloquy since

your departure did damage with deft deliberation
you knew I knew that our newness became oldness
became passionless awareness
an erosion of euphoric engagement

the period perchance prolonged
become a purloined poison
we both stole from each other

in fractured moonlight
and manufactured sunlight
our hearts like daggers
tore in 'twain our tepid tenders.


erin-cilberto
7/5/23

Reviews

[Lorry]

Yeah Jacob, but try saying that fast ten times and you'll discover you can indeed pull the muscle that is your tongue! 😊
I think I got a friction burn too and now know why dogs stick their heads out of car windows 😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha...rubber baby buggy bumpers!

[duff]

The lantern swings as the pen moves furious. A madman doing his thing. A huge grin my friend. Nice work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, duff....maybe all poets are somewhat mad.
j.

[moog-drika]

Can feel the weight of your words as you immerse in reminiscence, poetically stalking saccharine sequences in soliloquy. Can visualize the journey from newness to oldness, from euphoria to dispassion. Each detail adds an intense depth to the picture.
The last stanza is simply my favorite. Love it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your review, very much, moog,
hope you are well,
j.

[W. Barrett Munn]

We like to think we are superior to nature but it thruth we don't contribute to the demise but over time the pheremones that drive lust diminish, and then you are left with a truth: love is a decision and a commitment, which is what an Episcopal priest once claimed in a book of his I read. I have grown since to understand the truth of his words.

Winston

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your insights, Winston.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

There is something to be said for lost love and the effect it has on our writings ... some good writing for some bad love.

I like where this one takes us j.

Perhaps the personification of personal passions published.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your alliterative review, my friend.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

What a tortured ending this union had.

a purloined poison
we both stole from each other

Came across as pretty toxic J. There is some fab alliteration in this piece.

Manufactured sunlight - genius.

That last stanza the damage on show. A great piece of writing to reflect a sad set of circumstances.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Chris,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Love is tortured tenderness when passion remains untouched...
forever pressed in an ancient Book of treasured memories. gently, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, dear Pat,
j.