some Elms avoid breezes

some Elms avoid breezes

 

 

You wanted commitment

I wanted a few passionate whispers

and then for our lips to part

and hands to recede from the grip

of love

the binding

then the finding

of secrets we never expected

show me another side of heart

the shaded one

 

when the moon assumes its role

and converts the damage

into a torturous 

laborious

insanity

 

You wanted commitment

I did not want a rubber room

from which to regret

a life never procured

a divorce ever incurred

as the fractured fairy tale closed

with crooked credits

 

I don't anticipate hating the moon

I will let something borrowed

something blue

stay in the closet

where I hang my heart

away from love

as I retreat

from finding the 

binding

was too weak 

to hold the pages

of a commitment

you might have broken

with your token

feelings.

 

 

erin-cilberto

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Wisdom comes from damagae and age, but mostly damage done. If you were wise enough to avoid the damage, you are in the minority.

Winston

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am not in the minority, unfortunately.
thank you, Winston.
j.

[Akinlolu]

Fear. It robs us of the will to dare. The past with its unpleasant experiences rob us of willingness to try. Love carries weighty responsibilities. True love demands all. But I lament how love quickly turns sour for many. This has turned many of us into cowards in matters of the heart. I don't blame the cowards (L.O.L). Many of them have been badly burned in the past.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your insights, Akinlolu,
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Fear causes us to deny ourselves a lot of things, sometimes, even love. One never truly knows the complexities of an individual nor why they do the things that they do. All I know is that it hurts to love someone so deeply and not be loved in returned. Once burned, twice shy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the burns add up...
thank you, Linda Marie...
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

They certainly do.

[Fran Marie]

A relationship definitely not on the same page
leading to the darkside of the moon..
great expectations weren't so great after all
A potent poem using great metaphor
and deeply expressed
I don't anticipate hating the moon
I will let something borrowed
something blue
stay in the closet
where I hang my heart
away from love

Nice work Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I wonder how much that blue fades when in the closet...
thank you, Fran Marie,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

A mismatch of wants and needs which led to conflict and frustration. There was no singing from the same sheet here. Far from it. I really like the title ( having an affinity with trees) and also the metaphors used here.

a rubber room from which to regret - no one wants that. A sad fractured fairytale, one that didn’t work out. No one wants token feelings. Great writing J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Chris...appreciate your words,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Many a romance nearly missed the Dance… thinking of Garth Brook and “but I would have missed the Dance”.
You may not be into Country Music but Garth’s Song— The Dance” is a Classic and Best in my opinion. Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, not into country...but I know there is a strong following...I like a few....Little Big Town, Johnny Cash since I was little, Cam and a couple others.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

George Strait has a Song about Loving his wife that may bring Tears .. I have almost been loved that much …. Country is the Good Earth embedded in a Haystack…. My friend. gently, Pat

[emily.c.]

Sweet poem and lovely title. you can feel the conflicting and frustrated emotions. Well known that trees can’t grow stronger out of the wind. Loved reading.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, emily,
j.

[Soyam]

An evocative and heartfelt exploration of love's complexities,
'You Wanted Commitment' delves into the yearning for passion and connection while grappling with the fear of commitment. I love the verses that beautifully capture the push and pull of emotions.

Emotionally and beautifully penned.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Soyam,
j.

[MomzillaNC]

It's so painful recovering from that struggle to create forever from the transitory. It shouldn't be a struggle if it's really to-the-core devotion of love and loyalty. These lines especially paint a word picture of that struggle.

the moon assumes its role
and converts the damage
into a torturous
laborious
insanity

as the fractured fairy tale closed

where I hang my heart
away from love

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate these insightful words from you, MomZ--
thank you.
j.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[Stella Armour]

"Might have broken"...oh Jacob , now you will never know :(

[jacob erin-cilberto]

nope, will never know.
Thank you, Stella.
j.