Take a Number

Take a Number

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto

Take a Number

 

 

 

revisions imply

dissatisfaction with status quo

 

a second draft

after the first one didn't work

there were shaking soldiers

swamp rats with holes in their shrinking bellies

 

infested jungles

of poor writing

poems with shrapnel significance

 

the war is over

yet we keep loading the pens

and firing blanks

 

remembering how the old bullets

meant something

sated an appetite

for playing real

 

but meanings might

just be searching

for a new cause

or a third draft

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/13/23

© 2023 jacob erin-cilberto


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Reviews

How full of metaphor Jacob. I often feel wounded by my own blanks, at times contemplating suicide with a bullet that won't fire. Skipped over by the first and second drafts for this war the fear of a third draft is at times overwhelming. A meaningful and briliant write.

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you for your very kind review, Soren,
j.
This sent me off on different paths at the same time.. which is very difficult for a wondering mind

A new cause or a third draft? I wonder

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you, Wondering, but sorry for making it difficult...
All of those paths I am sure fit i.. read more
Yes, second draft, third draft and so on until the end of humanity..... Very strong imaginary, Jacob!
Damages to the minds (and bodies) continue...Great poetry

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

Thank you for your kind words, Alla,
j.
Dang, I hadn't taken you for such a Nihilist... Ha! I'm one too, but cursed with an overdose stupid optimism... I mean it WILL all turn out okay in the end, won't it? Russia won't use any nukes, will they? China won't invade Taiwan, and the Muslims won't cut our heads off, will they? Someday, people will sit quietly and look for truth in poetry again! We WILL become tired of the stqtus quo, instead of meekly innured... won't we?

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

Oh those questions you pose...we should hope "not" is the answer to them all...but "who knows" seems.. read more
Love, love, love the use of your fabulous metaphors.
I am delighted to read one of yours...
Clever as all the poems of yours have been...
Lisa

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you for your kind words, Lisa,
j.
Many interpretations on this one; but I'll go with this one: you could be speaking of wars in general...and how horrific they are, end even when wars are over, it's still in the minds of those who fought; they have nightmares of shooting and death, even though WE are not fighting anyone; but we are helping the Ukrainians and we are watching them sliced into pieces...when soldiers come home, in their minds they are still at war even though they are shooting blanks... PTSD is rampant in this country and many of our best have ended their lives because they can't cope in a non war world.....I could go on with other meanings!
Great write , I like how you portrayed this through poetry....metaphors...you're so clever!
Best, B
P.S we could be speaking of gun violence as well, killing people until the are no more bullets!

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

Yes, they come home...but only in body...or parts of it. Their mental and emotional trauma's never e.. read more
Betty Hermelee

1 Year Ago

You’re very welcome J
Best
B.

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Added on April 15, 2023
Last Updated on April 15, 2023

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at a community college and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. I am here to read for inspiration from other po.. more..

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