the journey

---

the journey

i was married more than once

not well, 

but married

brides to be, brides to let go

brides after the effect

affect the soul of heart plunging

into a pool of ink

keys spent on restless notions of love

a backlog of regretful files

unleashed

like a secretary burning important papers

that later, seem quite unimportant

we wonder why we fussed

I saw some of you once or twice

denial thrice

i do, i do, i do

i did, i did, i did

but now the rings have been tossed into Mount Doom

the hobbits as witness

my 

not well

turned to 

not again

i look at the skin discoloration

where all those rings once rested

i was married more than once

did  i learn love lessons

or just flunk the course

from detachment

an apathetic heart

not caring about degrees

only how warm 

but never melting again.

erin-cilberto

12/10/22

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

It took me years to learn and understand that blame is not one-sided. I still don't believe it, though. Is that a sign of the same problem? Is self-blame symbiotic with self-centeredness? A thought.

Winston

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I think that is a really good question, Winston, and one I am still trying to answer.
Is taking care of one's heart self-centeredness or just being realistic?
j.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Or is the way to care for one’s own heart to care for another’s?

[Scott Kris]

There and back again. Ha.

Eventually we just sail away.

Read more. Nothing else helps.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yep, not a damn thing helps.
thanks, Scott,
j.

[willweb]

Marriage is not for everyone; I do commend you for trying several times, but marriage is not for everyone. Your poem makes me think of that saying, If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. But maybe without as many "tries." You are probably better off.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha, thanks, will,
j.

[John the Baptist]

Next to war, marriage may be the most character building experience people can know. The speaker here is a veteran, having been married more than once, but doesn't note any growth as a result. The mood is glum, but there doesn't seem to be any blame, other than toward the self. It does appear that much of the speaker's artistic output has been sparked by these walks down the aisle, and for that, we are all indebted to them.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, John,
j.

[AJNJ]

The journey is very well worth it all said all done. Much learnt in the suffering.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Much....thank you, AJ,
j.

[Ciara]

I was married once but I'm not sure I'd ever do it again.
Once was enough hurt to know I never want to feel that again.
Love is a wonderful idea. Perhaps it may even be real for some.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Many will stop at one....thank you, Ciara,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

When we buy Property in Texas… and enjoy the Ride… it is Ok to take a Break after signing formal Papers. To do so again in two more States of mind…is allowed. Much better than starting an entirely new Country with no morals for Humanity or children involved. I say Bravo to the Man or Woman who tends to their Business and spends a Lifetime being resourceful. You don”t have to have “Blood on your Hands to be a Pioneer of Re-building a Country or a Partnership with someone new. Poetry can be a Declaration of Independence. “John Henry”. e.g. “put your John Henry here”. Amen.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes a declaration of independence...
I don't know how resourceful this poet is...but
he keeps on keepin' on.
thanks Pat,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Your journey dear J has been an interesting one. As to those marriages, they happened. At one point in time they must have been working otherwise you wouldn’t have got that far. Do we learn from our mistakes? I doubt it and often we are attracted to the same type of personality. Let the snow melt, you keep your heart in check my friend :)

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting to say the least...thank you for your words, Chris,
j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I've be merrier three times.we in my teens and twenties. So I can relate to this poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry you can relate...but life goes on, right?

[AYVID N]

I think we never learn our lessons, dear Jacob. Let disaster strike once or many times. We don't change because we can't change, we can't divorce ourselves from our own self. We just carry our same old rotten self on to the next relationship pretending to be wiser but let the first crisis come and the facade slips. Love is hardly ever about the other person. It's mostly about ourselves and our journey within ourselves.
Thank you for sharing this poem. It was wonderful to read, relate and introspect.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

good point, DIVYA, we can divorce from other people, not from ourselves.
j.