at the diner

at the diner

 

 

the coffee was cold

the waitress colder,

she didn't like poets sitting at her tables

 

sipping caffeine endlessly

not ordering from the menu

scant few cents for tip

 

she wanted the writing to move elsewhere

open up her section to real people

ones who had appetites for plentiful meals

not words

 

I wrote her an apology on my napkin

she probably just rolled up and tossed

it in her bus bin

hoping I would take one out of town.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/7/22

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Enjoyed this
I love cafe poetry

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie,
j.

[willweb]

They can get testy at times when coffee is the only thing being ordered. Maybe you should have written her a poem instead. : )

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Why didn't I think of that...or at least give her ten bucks for the coffee.
thank you, will,
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I think she rather pondered her actions and felt a bit of reticence for her impoliteness. Everyone is just trying to make a living, and the least among us have it the most unfair. Still, that's no way to garner tips to help pay her bills.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I bet she did ponder...thank you for your insightful review, Linda.
j.

[John the Baptist]

This one has a touch of real life to it. Nine to fivers don't really grasp how poems gel gradually (most of the time) in poet's mind. If you're not eating, you're taking up a space that might be occupied by someone who will leave a tip. The workaday world is not an overly sentimental place.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I don't think nine to fivers very often appreciate poetry...their lives are pretty strictly laid out...not much free verse in them.
j.

[carl]

epitaph for two worlds as they collide and bounce off each other. Love the bus play at the end. Maybe try an art museum next time, Others mistaking you for an artist will want to surreptitiously spy over your shoulder at your sketches. (lol - sorry I'm a bit of an alliteration freak ). Fun read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

alliteration makes the world go around...and I am the same way...
Thank you for your suggestion...and they have coffee machines or snack bars in the art museums, don't they?

[Elaine]

To me it always says more about the person when I observe their behavior. Sad. She may have such a story that doesn't allow her to dream or feels unable to explore hobbies of her own.
BUT, if I bring back my wandering curious mind, I still see someone who could have extended a smile and made a new friend if only she could see around her own pain.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but so many can't....and bad tippers, even if poets, should be shot.
thank you for your visit and words, Elaine,
j.

[JD Major]

a patron of the arts, she is not.
If you were Picasso leaving scribbles as a tip she'd welcome you with open arms.
JD

[jacob erin-cilberto]

she might at that...or she might have looked at his art and said "What the hell is this?"
thank you, JD,
j.

[Red Brick Keshner]

Oh yes, I always wondered what the diner folk thought of such customers, more so in places where the turn around was quick and the business brisk. A slice of poetry to go with that cup. That stole the place of that slice of pie or cake or sandwich.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Probably not very much, Frederick, I am sure.
thanks for your comment..
j.

[softlyfall]

I kind of get her attitude, if I'm honest, thinking of when I had three little mouths to feed and never enough. From a dialectical perspective, should not the poet care about that and adjust their behavior rather than offer apologies that her children cannot eat?
Nobody wrong, nobody right
Just life being life, gotta learn to roll with it
I believe the theory of unpunctuated poetry is that the reader is less guided. In this poem, punctuation really would be cumbersome, I think. The lines are simple and self explanatory.
Yet you manage to tell a story within a story nevertheless

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, softly...and yes, I rarely use punctuation as I prefer the reader to read as he or she feels comfortable...and gets out of the poem what he or she does, like you said, without guidance.
Oh, there is always a reason for what I do grammatically and always something behind the writing of my poetry....but the reader need not be concerned with anything other than relating in his or her own way.
Poetry is such an individual preference, feeling, interpretation.
thanks so much for your extensive review...you are appreciated.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob… I want to give you a new Review.
The Waitress lost her chance to learn about a Man of Letters… who just wanted to be a Guest with a Smile. Often we miss an opportunity to know how Life can be shared with Metaphors and Prayers. tenderly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

hopefully we don't miss too many...
j.