Bar Flies and Spider Web Ice Cubes

Bar Flies and Spider Web Ice Cubes

 

 

 

through the cigarette smoke

and the jazz notes

 

her creamy white complexion

glowed in harmony

with the sax's sad soft inflection

 

I had a chaser, with my beer

her smile struck my ear

blunting the sounds

 

as reflection moved its fingers

over brass interrogation

her name and number on a matchbook

 

then covers drawn for a night

over the two of us,

my toes still tapping

and my imagination

still rapping

with hopes she would 

be my dream ‘till

at least that last drink

had worn off.

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/30/22

Reviews

[Relic]

Those drinks can be real instigators of regret when they ware off. I've seen it and experienced it. There's something about the cold light of day that wakes a man up and puts shame in his heart when he realizes what he's done he shouldn't have. It's just one of those common things. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I hear you, Tim...I hear you.

j.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Jacob,

this piece of your fine Poetry speaks of all of our younger and wilder days, and does so very well ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Marve...I appreciate you.
j.

[keith]

a most difficult task keeping details in order that paints multiple pictures
well done jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, keith,
j.

[John the Baptist]

A little touch of Bukowski in the night? Hopefully it moved beyond the stage of imagination. Of course hope and an attentive bartender will get you another drink. Nothing else is guaranteed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a touch of Bukowski? Oops, maybe I should start from scratch and rewrite...
yes, nothing else guaranteed.
thank you, John,
j.

[danielle.]

I love how your poems create such vivid scenes with so few words Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for that, elle,
j.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Your poetry always hits straight in the heart and I noticed your endings are always full of some of the most power in your lines. You can feel the danger and the strength in this poem. The passion and intensity is palpable. Jazz and women can have that effect on you, don’t they? Thank you so much for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I have always written with two concepts...the importance of titles and the importance of endings...
so the poems don't just drift off to sleep...so I really appreciate your comment on that, Vertigo..
thank you.
j.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

I agree, very important! I tend to stick to that too, always makes for a harder hitting poem. It was my pleasure. (:

[redzone]

Oh those jazz joints, they will make your heart sing every time.... it was her red net stockings that would get me every time Jacob, they were the web I got trapped by.... and it was Boney James' song 'Heaven' that would be playing when she walked in.... he played that smooth jazz sultry sax and the notes would always find her where ever she was.... anyway, your poem took me back to her and I'm still smiling.... that's for your poem Jacob....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing that experience, Curt...
I just love to read reactions that are personal to the readers...
j.

[Chris Shaw]

You set the mood, the ambience was red. I felt danger for a soft heart. Booze can be a mood changer. Great piece of writing J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much, Chris,
j.

[Robert Haigh]

This poem made me smile, with its use of interesting language and inventive imagery. Shades of a film noir in the mood and setting of the piece. I like it!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Robert,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the poem Jacob. I had a few night like this one. Good jazz and pretty woman can make us wander to dangerous places and thoughts. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Coyote,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.