How do you see me?

How do you see me?

 

 

my poetry has errors, same as my life

no excuses,

I am just a rough draft of myself

 

editing as I near my conclusion

misspelled too many occurrences 

along the way

 

misplaced my modifiers

in a sea of panic and rush

the words just gush

 

I shall be revising

as long as my heart beats

and if you see a mistake

 

correct it,

so I might move on

with more clarity.

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/25/22

Reviews

[Earthrise]

It's funny how our lives and our poems seem so full of mistakes, but we have a harder time seeing the mistakes in others'.

I guess life is like a rough draft: as you say, the words just gush. The heart's truest intentions spill out, unfiltered, and unlike a poem, you can't go back and edit. But that rough honesty is what makes life, and rough drafts, beautiful. Let the words gush, I say!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yep, the rough honesty...
absolutely...
thank you, Earthrise,
j.

[Aura]

Life compared to poetry, so different yet so similar portrayed in this poem. We may not be the best vereion of ourselves, we may have flaws but with time, and determinstion we can be our best self! A poem may have errors, words may not fit but point out those mistakes and that poem can be the best one you write because of that opinion to help create a better version of the poem. Thanks for sharing, I liked the analogy!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Aura,
j.

[Aura]

My pleasure :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Poetry is a reflection of the poet. the poet is human and therefore not perfect.So we can edit poems all we want but they will never be perfect, but that is okay because they are a reflection of us.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

absolutely true, Dale...much appreciated,
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

I am not perfect.. I have many flaws that I hope to correct....I am who I am, just a "draft of myself", so when I finish the work to be done, I will be different....I've made too many mistakes I'll try to be perfect, but you can correct me along the way if they are errors.. my words seem to speak with mistakes, garble...I'll be much more succinct, you will see.
great Metaphor J.
Best, B

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your review, Betty,
thank you,
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome J.

[Temperance]

Your poetry is always inspiring. I enjoy reading everyone’s work on this site as it offers me the opportunity to learn and grow. I suppose much of our work is a reflection of ourselves but then again, not. I see you as a mentor, someone who has honed his craft so, is entitled to take liberties with style. Meaning, you have earned that right. I’m a follower of yours so, I think you certainly know your stuff. We are all editing ourselves. We live and learn every day. Speaking for myself, of course. Life is a journey down pathways and roadways and detours and turns and, and, and…… we need to “adjust” at each juncture. I suppose the simple term would be flexible is what we need to be. Always admire your work Mr. j. Temp

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Temperance,
j.

[Temperance]

You’re welcome

[redzone]

if we are honest with ourselves, we are always "editing", because we are always learning, stopping only when that last breath is taken.... I liked the line "I am just a rough draft of myself", life itself will teach us this over and over again!!

and those last few lines, I think too few people see the need for and appreciate constructive criticism and far fewer will take it and change....

my first reaction to your poem was you are a far better person and poet than you think Jacob and while this is true, after rereading, I saw this poem more as encouragement and example for others to learn from.... and this is so much more than "my life and poetry has errors"....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind and insightful review, Curt.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Gosh, there’s a lot to say about this. The relatability, how you write writer’s so well, the rhyming, word usage, all of itZ. In answer to ‘how do you see me?’ Which is a thought all writers wonder at least once, is as a mentor. A guide, someone who’s really honed their craft. But judging by the self deprecation, doesn’t believe it! Which makes this poem even more relatable and accurate. I love the first line, how our poetry is flawed like our life. I’ve honestly never thought of it that way before, but it makes plenty of sense. The last two stanzas, though...they tie it all together, really proving the point that poets only really see the flaws in their words. Thank you so much for sharing such an impactful piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Vertigo...thank you so much for your understanding review...
we keep trying though, don't we?
j.

[Chris Shaw]

There you go. Beating yourself up again. Only seeing the negative. Now other people can see the positive. Yes they can. Corrections? None of us are perfect but that doesn't make us bad people.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris...
funny how we get inspiration..
John the Baptist found a typo I had missed in one of my poems...loose binding...which I really appreciated...often we cannot see the errors in our writing because we see what we meant to write...made me think of our own flaws and how we often miss them because we don't proofread ourselves closely enough.
thank you, Chris....I appreciate you.

[Chris Shaw]

Ab, that figures. The edits :))