I don't write love poems too good

I don't write love poems too good

here is one,

the moon falls and rises

and .....

oh my God, it's gone

well, there is still how the sun rises with your smile

and I am mesmerized by your...

oh my God, it's gone

I imagine how sure I am of your forever promise

to love me until 

I ....

oh my God, where did you go?

here is one,

the moon....

gone

I scream I love you over the mountain

then it crumbles

an avalanche of freezing spite

I am buried in lonely

oh my God, that is not a line of love

I am fishing for something now,

your beauty is to me, like...

I cannot remember what you look like now

smile, this has all been a ruse

my muse

don't write love poems so good.

erin-cilberto

6/10/22

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I did love this poetry Jacob.
"oh my God, that is not a line of love
I am fishing for something now,
your beauty is to me, like...
I cannot remember what you look like now"
I have written similar words my friend. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I don't remember what I look like anymore...thank you, Coyote.
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[Ranger Kessel]

I love this. My favorite line:

I scream I love you over the mountain
then it crumbles
an avalanche of freezing spite

Very nicely done.
I am buried in lonely

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Ranger.
I will reciprocate soon.
j.

[emipoemi]

I have no comments but laughter of enjoyment. This is hilarious. I hope that was your intention with this, because the silted progression, the illustrated blockage, and questionable line breaks all add to the brilliance of the theme that is not being able to write a love poem as well as one thought. Even the amateurish flair at certain moments put cherries on top of this golden bit of absurdity. And amidst the despair section - great lines! Great imagery! Well done!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Absolutely my intention...and glad you could get a laugh...thank you for visiting my page...I will get hold of this poetry thing one of these days.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Your muse is going to get my red pen! That last line...I need to correct it! LOL However, Jacob, you DO write love poems. Sometimes what we believe is a forever love is merely a chapter in our lives. It hurts. "I am buried in lonely". Another fantastic line. You truly are on a roll. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi...I always get the red pen...
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Sometimes I think it would be good to be a rooster and just start every day with a good healthy scream. I appreciate the humor and slight self-deprecation over the muse. But it's nothing to hang one's head in shame about. You can always retreat to pastoral poetry where the birds and cows; the fields and clouds, the hills and vales, the trees and flowers and things are always less demanding. (laughing) You do wonderful expose' of the human condition, my friend, in all its quirky wonder and delicate beauty. But you leave the thorns on the rose where they grew. It's not the sugary cotton candy looking so big on the stick and melting away to nothingness on the tongue. Your words have substance. Thanks for the smile from this one. I enjoyed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, I love cows...good idea, Fabian,
thanks
j.

[Red Brick Keshner]

Perhaps no one really knows how write love poems, we just get into it and hope it works. Thanks for sharing, j. /Frederick.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

just like we get into love and hope it works...ugh.
thanks, Frederick,
j.

[Throwing Romeo]

Cute title.

Seems to me a familiar
longing when the moon
steps in and becomes
the muse.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, THrowing Romeo...
the moons steps in a lot.
j.

[Cherrie]

How do you write love poems? You s-neak-up on'm :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Sneak up on them...that's a good one.
ha ha

[Aura]

Well, sometimes actions does speak louder than words :) This was a great poem, sometimes words cant describe the love we feel for someone, but trying and the actions we do well assure them of our love. Thanks for sharing!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks for your kind review, Aura,
j.

[Aura]

You are welcome.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Jacob
I love this
I know you sick of me saying I love your writing but I do
I’ll cry it from the mountains
To the depths of the seas
To the mermaids and unicorns
That’s my love poem to your writing !!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

aww...thanks, Julie...
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

No worries