Jogger

Jogger

 

 

sandcastles are so temporary

ephemeral

the salted waves of terminal breath

interest grains of memory

 

as your structure dissolves

with the tides of intended thoughts

to clouds pushed by reality's last hurrah

a certain venom has woven its path

 

the white capped sentinels 

of engagement

the deterioration of walls

the pictures unfamiliar

 

i ran on your beach once

and you saluted me by name

now i am just a passerby

we nod unceremoniously at one another

 

i look back as if you knew me.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/30/22

Reviews

[Andrew John]

Strange how some people whom you knew now move farther away. I like this one, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Andrew,
j.

[Aura]

This is interesting, from my interpretation it seems that you compare the temporarinesx of a sand castle to a relationship. I could be wrong, but the stanza

"i ran on your beach once
and you saluted me by name
now i am just a passerby
we nod unceremoniously at one another" made it seem as if you were talking about a person, though you could've been indirectly talking about the sand as well. The poem was thought provoking in deed because thinking about it, like how sandcastles can be destroyed by tides, relationships can be broken by tides of betrayal, and no trust. The sand will be all mushy when mixed with water, and a broken relationship because of a betrayal will be mixed with venom and anger. I liked reading this though, but my interpretation could be very wrong.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

No interpretation is wrong....no right or wrong in poetry....it is as the reader sees it...if there is only one definition then the poem has no universality...and is just a plain statement.
I really like where you took this piece, and that you stopped to take this piece anywhere at all.
thank you, Aura,
j.

[Aura]

You're welcome. Sometimes there is a set definition to a piece, and that I fear if I interpet something differently that wasnt meant to be interpreted that way to begin with, it'd offend the writer.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Unfortunately, Aura, some writers get very offended if readers don't get exactly what they intended with a write.But I feel once a poet allows his or her poem to be read, the poet is letting the piece go, and the ownership belongs to the reader...And I think a poet would be really happy to have more folks be able to identify with his or her poem in some way...then to get nothing out of it all...or to get frustrated trying to figure out exactly what was in the mind of the poet.
I just appreciate being read.
j.