Jogger

Jogger

 

 

sandcastles are so temporary

ephemeral

the salted waves of terminal breath

interest grains of memory

 

as your structure dissolves

with the tides of intended thoughts

to clouds pushed by reality's last hurrah

a certain venom has woven its path

 

the white capped sentinels 

of engagement

the deterioration of walls

the pictures unfamiliar

 

i ran on your beach once

and you saluted me by name

now i am just a passerby

we nod unceremoniously at one another

 

i look back as if you knew me.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/30/22

Reviews

[Patricia]

Ok first off, I jog, I hate it, I don’t want to jog backwards in time but I love the reflection and metaphor in this. Maybe I just haven’t got to the point in my life where I reflect so maybe I will one day but the past is gone, I don’t want to relive it to change it. Mostly I have forgotten it, selective memory. But if I pass myself in the journey I am going to slap myself…. hard! ;) great writing and the ending was awesome!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like your metaphorical reply to the metaphorical scribblings here.
thank you, Patricia,
read moreI like your metaphorical reply to the metaphorical scribblings here.
thank you, Patricia,
j.

[Patricia]

oh you know me I gotta put myself in the writing with my sassy style :)

[Chris Shaw]

Last stanza and stand alone line so poignant. I think many will relate here. I do. Love the sandcastle metaphor. So fleeting are they before being washed away. Lovely poem J.

Chris.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Chris,
j.

[Robert Haigh]

Sad but beautiful! Some wonderful imagery in this poem, Jacob! Relationships can still retain some kind of desolate beauty, even long after they have come and gone. The heart is never full - it always has room for more love.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, never full...thank you for your words, Robert,
j.

[Lisasview]

Hi Jacob,
What is wonderful is that I know for sure that when I click onto you there will be a new poem for me to enjoy!!!
This one certainly gave me goose bumps..
We all look back and wonder "What if"....hopefully as we get older we make better choices..and lead happier lives.
Lisa, off to practice piano for one hour..in Spain

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Lisa...
I bet you are good on those ivories!

[CD Campbell]

The last few stanzas really bit deep. Your talk of deterioration. Everything decays, even relationships. Personal, professional, emotional. Reminds me of all the bridges I've burned and some of them I am very sorry about. The last line makes me feel as if I've been bitten. How can people feel so close one moment and so distant the next? We are a frivolous species. Thanks jacob for putting this up. It's another great work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words, CD...yes, there are some bridges I wouldn't mind getting a chance to rebuild...but no such luck.
thank you, CD for your insightful review.
j.

[Ranger Kessel]

I like this personal reflection as it subtly moves through years and keeps it emotional. Best wishes jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ranger,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

So you were the younger jogger and now as you look back at the beach you hope that place remembers you but time doesn’t stand still there’s been many joggers after your laps on beach
We are all insignificant but significant too
You were a snapshot for years in that beach now you walk there with precious memories reliving the joys of youth and jogs free young and wild
That’s how I see it loved it love your writing Jacob
Forgive me if my interpretation is way off lol 😂

[jacob erin-cilberto]

no interpretation is every WAY OFF...what you see as the reader is what you see....and I appreciate all interpretations.
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Ok thanks
Ok

[Temperance]

as your structure dissolves
with the tides of intended thoughts
to clouds pushed by reality's last hurrah
a certain venom has woven its path
This stanza interests me. Sandcastles are temporary and, in this case, I interpret so was this relationship. "a certain venom has woven its path" makes me think that the "reality" of the ending was not a pleasant one. And, the ending appears to support that.....i look back as if you knew me. This poem leaves me with a forlorn feeling. However, that tells me it is written well. Thank you for this, j. Temp

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Your reviews are always so in-depth...and are much appreciated, Temperance...
j.

[Temperance]

You are so welcome j.

[Pete]

maybe that's why the call it the human race. lace up those sneakers. clever with deep meaning that cannot be washed away. i have frequently been having these sort of thoughts lately - we scratch and claw to hold onto things that will be stripped from us in but the blink of an eye. the truly valuable things exist inside each of us. we are but passsersby in this life. reminds me of the guy who was buried in a cadillac coffin as he tried "to take it with him". try as we may our days are numbered. is what we hold onto even really worth it? you've also woven in relationships - do we ever "know" someone and if so for how long and do they "know" us? we're all racing against time. things so fleeting, perhaps best not to ever look back ... :)

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” - Thoreau

"Never look back unless you are planning to go that way." - Thoreau

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you understand just too well...thank you for your insightful review, Pete,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

A melancholy Poem… if ever there was one. Every day is Temporary… Sand Castles and Asters disappear and tears are gathered in a Shell 🐚 where kisses dwell… Be well my friend… Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Pat,
j.