Eloquently

Eloquently

 

 

you so eloquently 

slapped your love

in blank anger

now you so eloquently

wear bracelets

 

the kind that puts you behind

poems

that strike back with words

to make your mind bruised red

and your pride sitting in a cold cell

 

eloquently, you arrive at conclusions

then delusions

 

then confusion

as to the conclusion

 

you have come to be.

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/12/22

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Abuse can take many forms from shouting hurtful insults to actual physical altercations. Dreams can be bruised and broken, the same as flesh and bone; hopes can be crushed and trust destroyed. The amount you care for someone is directly related to their ability to anger or frustrate you. Sometimes, it's best to step back from that immediate response and reason the situation through rather than respond by reflex. It begins by focusing on what is important and weighing our actions against any possible rewards or consequences. I'm teaching my daughter not to be overwhelmed with the opinions of others; teaching her to trust her heart, instead. It's a tedious lesson but one well worth teaching and learning. Every great success story in the world had naysayers, after all, from the Wright brother's flying machine to the music of The Beatles. Follow your dream and don't be sidelined by the opinions of others, no matter how hurtful they may be. Allow them their opinion but it doesn't mean you must respect it or make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's all about perspective as are so many things in life. Perhaps we can then defeat their hasty "conclusions" becoming our "delusions" . I enjoyed the read. Great stuff.

[Carola]

great review fabian, it helped me to understand jacob's poem.
cheerio carola

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your extensive and insightful review, Fabian,
j.

[Aura]

The first stanza

"you so eloquently 
slapped your love
in blank anger
now you so eloquently
wear bracelets" --- beautiful harm, though not beautiful at all, landed in a beautiful mess with your hands in cuffs, now all that's left is for you to confess. I like how you repeated the word eloquently as well to convey its significance in the poem.

 

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Aura,
j.

[Aura]

My pleasure

[lightsong]

Sorry that the nature of us women is like that, we are like waves, up and down, gentle and wild, tender and raging, we are ruled by emotions, and yes we can be unpredictable and irrational many times lol. but that's our beauty and the reason behind beautiful poems like yours here :> I so love this one, and I hope I didn't go far with my conclusions again this time :>

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but the tender and raging makes the world go around for us...so thank you for those traits...
thank you for your kind review,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Pearls are Elegant although irritated in the Process… I wear them Proudly… gently, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I just love your replies...thanks, Pat
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Lashing out in anger serves no purpose. It tends to inflame a bad situation even further and can completely get out of control. I guess diffusing a situation is best. Takes a strong person to take a step back in my opinion. Violence, the papers are full of it. One moment of madness and all hell can let loose.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, just one moment....one reflex reaction.
thank you, Chris,
j.

[Robert Haigh]

Eloquence can be a master of disguise, appearing out of nowhere, sometimes. Eloquence in a poem is a perfect place for it to be... just like in this one! An eloquent write, for sure!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Robert,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

So eloquently said Jacob. I love the word eloquently because it resonates or sounds just as it should do. It has that femininity and tone about it, somewhat charming but patronising as well, and the delivery can be oh so cutting!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, andrew,
j.

[Laurierose]

This seems simple yet oh so complex. It's a very fine piece and one that deserves to admired in a way that someone examines artwork with a small smile. It feels very familiar and I like that. Great read!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Laurierose,
j.

[John the Baptist]

A tad of bitterness in this one, maybe a little revenge, too. Poets do get even with words. It's the only civilized way to respond to a slap. Sounds as though she deserved it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it's actually from the woman's point of view...but yes, only civilized way...words.
thank you, John

[L. E. Standoff]

This poem is really good and I think that it came from real life experiences because of how this sounds and how well it conveys the anger of a couple.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, L.E.
j.