the Woman

the Woman

 

 

 

 

on the table

by the broken shards 

of the mirror

 

reflections of you in pieces

the gun still warm

your heart grown cold

 

the moon has been assassinated

a mourning glow 

passes through the blinds

 

a palpable whodunnit

but first a victim is sought

you can't bury the moon's body

 

unless the sky clears

and the jilted lover

looks up

 

with guilty conscience

fingerprints on the revolver

and the missing poem found

 

near the keys

but nearer the blues.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/24/22

Reviews

[Dave Brown]

Where is Hercule?
Only he can solve this mooning slight

[jacob erin-cilberto]

He is still riding the Orient Express...he has become enamored with that train.
thank you, Dave,
j.

[W.k.kortas]

I would concur with the prior review concerning the final two lines--what a wonderful juxtaposition of the concrete and the abstract, so neatly expressed and tied in a bow and following the notion in such lines as
"the moon has been assassinated". That type of deft interweaving of the concrete and the ethereal is no easy feat, and it's done to a T here.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, W.k.

j.

[Writergurl]

ah, loved that last two lines, i sure there is some bluesy mood in this,
very well written and expressed...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, writergurl,
j.

[JE Falcon]

Love this, and am envious of this ending:
"with guilty conscience
fingerprints on the revolver
and the missing poem found

near the keys
but nearer the blues."

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, JE,
j.

[John the Baptist]

I wonder if the moon's assassination will generate conspiracy theories. Actually, I think the moon is symbolic of something here, perhaps a romance that has been shot down. That's why there's a "mourning glow" coming through those blinds. And that jilted love is probably to blame for the whole thing. That's also why the poem is closer to the blues.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I think the mafia was behind it...thank you for your insightful words, John,
j.

[knighngale]

aww, Cilberto, this is a good one,
I like the whole killing process,
I guess there's a cheat
and the end is monumental
because of the keys and the blues,
the hardest thing is to find someone with another,
it happened to me, but a little dif. he introduced her to me,

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I can see that...different, but in a way the same.
thank you,
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

a lost love, like a shattered mirror, memories are still young, even though the heart is old, long gone. The moon no longer shines on the two of you; since she is passed, the moon is shattered like the mirror. Until the sky clears, there is guilt in the air. She leaves a note, blue and sad, just like she leaves the keys....makes one feel quite jilted.... like a "dear John" letter.
Best, B

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Betty,
I like where you went with this,
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re very welcome J

[Dave]

At the core, there is a woman. The shattered mirror reflections of time past. A moon, no longer shining on a love that has long gone its separate way. She is gone, the sky is clear, and yet there are the misty clouds.
A very interesting write.
Take care - Dave

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and a very astute reply, my friend,
thank you,
j.

[duff]

I like this a lot Jacob. A stroll on the dark side. I feel like I stepped onto the set of a neo noir film.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Was kind of going for that effect, thank you, duff,
j.

[duff]

You're very welcome

[keith]

this is a darkness i haven't seen in your writes
no problem just kinda took me by surprise

'fingerprints on the revolver
and the missing poem found
near the keys
but nearer the blues.' ... some strong imagery here brother very strong, kudos

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, keith, appreciate your words.
j.