a uniform goodbye

a uniform goodbye

the bottle lies uncorked

empty, on the floor

with the spillage of my heart

labels hurt,

esteem blown to bits

from a hand grenade of insults

she smiled as she pulled the pin

I stand at attention

and salute her treason

love is a Cold Duck corpse

the feathers are seared

I am a drunk nomad

with no country to fight for

she is a refugee

in the midnight sun

burning down the road of hope

some foreign land to my reason

I salute her treason.

erin-cilberto

3/922

Reviews

[knighngale]

treason, eh? lol, love it, hon, I'm a drunk, so I dig it. Daddy (Father) caught me once drinking high balls, I was so drunk, :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the read,
j.

[knighngale]

ur welcome, dear :D

[conversations with her ..]

Raw yet beautifully written.

Every line was genius and even the poem radiates a feeling of darkness, but it was still so refreshing to read.

I really enjoyed this poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Conversations...
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Oh, an amorous Benedict Arnold eh? Deserting her post in your heart? Yuck on the Cold Duck...I have a story about that but one which I shall defer. (smile) Great writing, as is your par, my friend. I enjoyed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, I hated the Cold Duck...I just wanted the effects....and sometime I would love to hear the story...
thank you, Fabian,
j.

[Relic]

Women can be full of artillery, preparing to use it when the time is right. I've seen it. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and their timing is always perfect or imperfect whichever way we look at it.
j.

[John the Baptist]

I suspect the military imagery may reflect current events. Interestingly, the imagery of saluting her treason is mentioned twice. Sounds like an acknowledgment of defeat. I haven't thought of Cold Duck in years.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I had it once...Chugged a bottle of it back in May 1970 when the riots at SIU closed the school....semester wasn't over and for once, I had really good grades going....I got all S's for satisfactory....I was pretty unhappy and drowned my sorrows in a bottle.
was a crazy couple weeks there....and a really bizarre night....

although this poem is not about that night....just a story of my one acquaintance with that wine.
thank you, John,
j.

[Throwing Romeo]

Bloodshot romance shaken not stirred.
Torn witness must keep standing...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Throwing Romeo,
j.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

I love, love, love this piece. It’s so brilliantly and smartly written. Every line is so brilliant.’Some foreign land to my reason, I salute her treason.’ What a chilling line.’ To me this line reads as undying loyalty, even if it’s not a good thing, judging potentially by this poem. It’s so powerful and intensely inspiring. Those last few lines really stick with me. Amazing, emotional and chilling. Thank
you for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Vertigo,
j.

[Aluppi Jampur]

Even the title is smart in this one. It holds multi meaning.
Enjoyed this one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chrome,
j.

[Patricia]

Love the first stanza straight into labels hurt, very true and cool lines, cold duck, oh my not a good taste but a good line and the last two stanzas… are you kidding me?! Wonderful!!!! All visual metaphors that blew me away like a grenade :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Patricia,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

OMG! Treason to love is the worst along with treason to country. I see how the war has affected your language dear Jacob. Hard to feel at peace when bombs and grenades explode all over the place and now in hearts. I lived that in a civil war.
Awesome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am sorry you had to go through that, Sami,
thank you,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

Yes siiiirrrr. Thank you kindly. You are welcome.