Poem

Poem

 

 

in a dimly lit closet

a small box

a smaller pistol

a decision

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/21/22

Reviews

[Ruth]

The beauty of this is that it really can mean so very much. I am in awe as always Jacob...you inspire your readers to keep opening their minds and seek deeper lines :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind words, Ruth,
j.

[keith]

crying for help or self-loathing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, ABG, appreciate the read.
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Pivotal and succinct. And the woodpecker that woke him up at 7:00 AM on a Saturday morning with a hangover (him, not the woodpecker) gave his life for tapping on the wrong piece of wood trim. The end. (for the woodpecker that is) Disclaimer: No woodpeckers were actually harmed in the production of this review nor does its author endorse the mistreatment of any animal. I liked this J. It's like a snapshot (no pun intended).

[jacob erin-cilberto]

lucky woodpeckers...maybe the subject of this poem will get lucky.
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Someone I once knew did that very thing with the woodpecker. His house had that rustic pine siding that was popular in the eighties. He'd just built this home for his family and settled in. He pulled a long shift on Friday, drank beer that night after dinner and went to sleep. He woke up with a hangover and a bird hammering his new house. He did the right thing. He got up, got in his truck and drove three miles to a payphone at a service station.(He needed some cigarettes anyway) He called animal control and asked about the woodpecker. They told him to call wildlife management. He called them. They told him they could send someone out in a week or two if the bird stayed around. They told him it was illegal to shoot the bird. He hung up the phone, went home and shot the woodpecker. Then he smoked a cigarette and went back to bed.

[JE Falcon]

("in a dimly lit closet
a small box
a smaller pistol
a decision")
to read the note
in the box saying
don't do it.
This was a poem that brought an immediate reaction.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your comment, JE,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Now this is what I'm here for ... a brief and brilliant snapshot of life ... no coincidence that there are thirteen words in this poem.
So much said in such a short four lines ... the decision is up to the reader.
A true cliffhanger with so many possible outcomes.

I really like this one j.
A good write

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really appreciate your review, Ted,
j.

[Sammi]

Hm?
Writer or poem -- poem or writer?🤔
Love your succinctness Jacob, clever too -- thanks for sharing! :)

HUGGS!
Sammi

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Sammi,
j.

[Soren]

Excellent, concise, vivid, chilling. I loved it

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Soren,
j.

[Ed Fagan]

quite a permanent solution to a temporary problem. or, so it may seem. Good to see you're still at it, old friend. It' been quite a few years since I have signed in.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Ed, thank you, and it is so good to see you around again,
j..

[Gee]

You are the one constant in this place Jacob so let the pistol sleep and continue with the pen:)
Good morning, hope you are well

[jacob erin-cilberto]

That is a kind remark, Gee...thank you.
Hope you are well,
j.