racing the vein

racing the vein

 

 

 

bleed extravagant

curtsy to the trickle of pain pouring slowly

hearts do not have reptilian skin

insults and goodbyes slither coldly 

beneath what we have left,

 

find our strife to bind us

to the headboard

sleeping on wanted posters

she is a lovely suspect

the knife isn't real

 

but sorrow shines off its blade.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/6/21

Reviews

[Ada]

Your piece reminds me of what it is like to have some dignity while suffering, to make the best of what we have and that the end is imminent although we've done the best we can do...the nobility lies within. There are many serious themes that your reader is left to ponder on...Excellent

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Ada,
j.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

‘Insults and goodbye slither coldly,’ what a fittingly chilling line. And the line with the reptilian skin. Wow, each line you used seriously added more and more depth to this piece, making it such a cold and darker feeling poem with a feeling of determination still. It tells a story and I’m amazed by the passion and beauty in this piece. Thank you so much for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, VC...
j.

[Patricia]

Thirty years ago I would have felt this one…I grew reptilian skin over my heart and cold isn’t that unpleasant, hmmmm maybe I do feel this one, I love this! Great great writing here

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you very much for your words, Patricia,
j.

[Patricia]

You’re welcome, btw great ending to this

[Tania Mo]

Why do blades always bring sorrow?Something to do with severance.Superb work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Tania Mo,
j.

[AYVID N]

Insults and goodbyes slither coldly
beneath what we have left,

Such beauty in these lines... How do you always manage to come up with such wonders?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am just a conduit, DIVYA, I cannot take credit.
the words come and I write them down...I usually write in bunches...4, 5 more at a time...it's like some zone I get in, and then suddenly it is gone, just like that.
I cannot really take credit...but I appreciate your kind words.
j.

[AYVID N]

Its a gift that never ceases to awe me. You're blessed my friend. Have a beautiful day.

[M. J. Smith]

Words cut deeper than any knife. Wounds caused thus too often bleed for a lifetime.
Sad words and true, my friend. Conjures the despair of a heart living in a dark room where only a neon sign illuminates the night.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, M.J. ====your response is better than the poem.
j.

[M. J. Smith]

My response was to emotions presented in words that were unequivocal. As to being better than the poem? You flatter me, Sir! You are most welcome. There is great wisdom in your words.

[Chris Shaw]

I think here of someone whose problems have cut deep into their heart and soul, long before they pick up that knife to find the vein that will end their pain. Any blade used in this way is stained with sorrow. So visual dear J. is this write.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, yeah, maybe that was what was in my thoughts...
thank you, Chris
j.