Mostly other

Mostly other

 

 

 

she wrote careful poems

each word painstakingly stalked till it succumbed

massaged gently and evenly within her lines

 

i strew words like crumbs for the pigeons

pecked and pecked furiously

at keys i could scarcely see

in my poetic stupor

like unorganized crime

 

my poems sleep with the fishes

a message of something or other

mostly other

 

and those birds leaving their calling card

on the doorstep

of my verse

as 

she wrote careful poems 

 

and flew away...

 

erin-cilberto

12/30/21

Reviews

[Patricia]

this is wonderful! See now, I think your ability to sit down and write a poem and never change a word and be content with your piece is a profound testament to your writing abilities and I envy that. I'm insane when it comes to writing my actual poetry, not my quick writes or Poems Over Coffee but ones I don't share for the most part except maybe one here and there. I take forever to write a poem because I am so anal. Not something to be envied for sure. there are so many great lines in this write and moves so well from beginning to end.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Oh I revise as I go...and I do change words...but not often after I finish one...I just move on.
read moreOh I revise as I go...and I do change words...but not often after I finish one...I just move on.
and your way works so well for you...because the end result is smooth, natural and is not coffee stained.
j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Patricia.
j.

[Ada]

We do carefully craft our poetry selecting words and metaphors carefully. I always say write as if your life depends on it, since the inquisition believes in water torture. Fantastic write

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I wish I were more careful, Ada,
For 52 years I have written rather recklessly...
thank you for your kind review,
j.

[Desert Knave]

I like this. Not sure which I prefer, the careful or the scattered poems ... I suppose whatever I am lucky enough to write. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we are lucky to get to do this, aren't we?
Thank you, Jim.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

I fly around looking for Crumbs in the Storm… and Rest in the Eaves of your Poem… gently, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

awww...thanks, Pat,
j.

[ric d]

I'm not really a 'writer' but I do just write what I see in my head.
Not much thought, just get it down.
I do see "others" working for the perfect words, but, do they really find them?

Now, my fingers may not work as well as my thoughts, so it does, in the end, need to be reworked.
The words my have been wrong, but I don't search for the 'right' ones, just let them be the next thoughts.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Letting them be the next thoughts is a really good idea, ric.
thank you for your comments,read moreLetting them be the next thoughts is a really good idea, ric.
thank you for your comments,
j.

[John the Baptist]

We all have our own methods for getting the words out. Some are careful, patient craftsmen who patiently whittle away at words and phrases until they fit according according to the poet's blueprint . Others sling the words around like seed, letting them eventually come together in patterns. You say your poems sleep with the fishes? I thought that was Luca Brasi in "The Godfather."

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am right next to Luca...and he is still muttering about getting invited to the godfather's daughter's wedding on the day of her wedding.
I guess I sling words...and hope they land in good spots.
thank you, John,
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

"poetic stupor" YES....I can identify with that. Fingers fly and the poem nearly writes itself. Personally, I am not sure "careful" poems are as good as those that take a few crumbs and create a loaf of bread! I liked this one, Jacob. Lydi***

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

You know the she here sounds like my approach. Yes stalking each word Taking too much care. Not producing much. On the other hand, you in your poetic stupor, can rattle stuff out without even thinking about it. I have to say J, I don't know anyone else as creative and productive as you.

and those birds leaving their calling card
on the doorstep
of my verse

They need shooting. They can take their crap elsewhere. No appreciation of art.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Chris,
j.

[.]

I am inclined to say that my poems are carefully written; perhaps too much to the point that they are indecipherable to most. And as such they fly away from the reader like your birds. The way you describe yourself as a conduit for words then pecking furiously at the keys is an apt description. The words flow with an intensity that they must be pecked out rapidly. I guess it's the end product that really matters. The journey can be stunning if we get it right. This poem is a finely original description of the process, Jacob. I like the Mafia references as well. ⚘

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Jamila,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Sometimes you just got to go with the flow whether it’s carefully planned or what the heck attitude and go for it and see what happens.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

anything I have ever written, even essays, have been written on the spot, boom...just works best for me I guess.
thanks, andrew,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Me too J. always off the cuff.