Amazing Grace

 

Amazing Grace

 

 

eccentric ladybug

clings to the vine of insanity

better to avoid understanding

the pain of self

 

it's a burst of wind

in the sail of her brain

eyes peripherally seeing the demon’s approach

the pain of self

 

crawling through makeshift leaves of stalking men

crushed by large, implying feet

numb to the cracking sounds of her heart breaking

the pain of self

 

slapped against window by haloed hand

friends cheer,

squash her esteem, leave her beleaguered

the pain of self

 

stove pipe

feelers alert

ready position

the pain of self

 

the smack

the crack

the backbone crushed

a smile of self

 

unstable mate

born to initiate

a violent end

now the shoe is on the other foot.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/8/22

Reviews

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Brilliantly and powerfully written. This really packs a punch and has so much heart in it and feeling, the poem is excellent with the visuals? Wow, the visuals are breathtaking and the poem has a macabre almost sickening feeling to it. There’s something about something as innocent as a ladybug being beaten down feels so dark and just hopeless, but it delivers plenty of emotion. Thank you for sharing!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind review, Vertigo...
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

This poem is so heavy with metaphor. I love it! I feel like the ladybug is in an abusive relationship. A woman trapped by her fear. So crushed at this point she can't scrape herself off the heel of his boot. Powerful poem! And I like how you freely verse some rhyme.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Bill,
j.

[poetgurl]

so you prepared to smash another one with the other shoe?
just kidding, enjoyed this

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Lady K.
sometimes ladybugs smash us as well.
appreciate your visit...and yes, "Through the past, darkly" had that on vinyl and now on CD...
one of the best greatest hits albums.
j.

[Kim S.]

aww that is one dead lady bug...
nicely written

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Beckies...
crunch.

[Kim S.]

LOL No problem....

[Cherrie Palmer]

The violent grow old. While the injured soul lurks.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that would be a great line for a poem, Cherrie.
thank you,
j.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Yes it could make a dusey

[keith]

your tone has changed ... still thinking about it in a positive way.

'unstable mate
born to initiate
a violent end
now the shoe is on the other foot.'

[jacob erin-cilberto]

maybe some self-confidence brewing in the speaker.
Thank you, ABG,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Pain does help you to understand others pain… “No pain… No gain..”—. Hope is in the Corner of Pandora’s Box. It is painful to see our Country destroyed in the “false claim” of Charity. The Domino effect and they all Fall down.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yep, they all fall down....
at my age, I can empathize more often.
thank you, dear Pat,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

You have a lot more years left… let them sizzle… until they are Gold… you will be wealthy, healthy and Wise. dearly, Pat

[M. J. Smith]

I don't even want to hazard a guess as to the inspiration for this one. I can see some cruel boy smashing a ladybug just for fun. Likewise, our hearts are toyed with and smashed. Painful words, my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, it is like that, M.J.
thank you,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

The pain of self repeated throughout this poem, and that is a great deal of pain here. Your lines give some pretty harrowing images.

the smack
the crack
the backbone crushed

Hardly surprising the conclusion. Amazing poetry Jacob.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, dear Chris,
Hope you are having a good day.
j.

[AYVID N]

A poem with many relatable lines for me...Sometimes insanity seems a better option than confronting the self. The external world isn't very comforting either and the backbone gets crushed often....such stark, unforgettable visuals here....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate you and your understanding words, DIVYA.
I kind of wonder...if we do go completely insane, would there still be a part of us left to miss the old self?