May I assist you?

inspired by Jamila's poem Cliché Day

May I assist you?

 

 

 

I was a bit too cliché

and walked into a pretentious store

with a slangy expression

on my noggin'

 

looking to update my word-robe

but they were too expensive

couldn't afford the bread

and their choice of wording was rather stale at that

 

so I beat it

thanked my lucky stars

my vocabulary was hip enough for me

and ambled vicariously to another establishment

 

just to peruse their embellished line

of savory semantical splendor

cracking a smile

then got out of there like a bat out of hell.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/2/22

Reviews

[Ada]

It usually doesn't take very long to tell if a store is going to be our style...but i can oftentimes sense deeper political meaning in your pieces; not so much with this one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

not so much political, more of semantics and pretentiousness.
thank you for your words, Ada,
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

Maybe they've got better words at the thrift store. Well worn words with a fabulous fit in mind and body. Easy on the budget. And I bet it would smell like a used book store...so nice!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Bill,
j.

[Lisasview]

I never take what you write Jacob literally..what I always see Jacob is deeper meaning flying off your words..
and once again you have pushed my imagination onto the window sil and off into the sky..
Thank you

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"meaning flying off your words" wow, I might steal that line for a poem...
I appreciate your words, Lisa,
j.

[Lisasview]

It is in one of my poems from way back when..
Thank you
L

[Mary Jain]

It's a fun trip to read this short piece of you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Mary Jain,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear J, this little poem is such fun and is so clever with it. When I travel to see my mum, I often visit a dept store where I never buy anything. It is so very posh and expensive with it, and I always get asked if I can be assisted and the answer is always no thanks. Why do I go in there? Because the tea and cake is fine and the powder room right up my street lol. Yep going in there I can be made to feel like a duck out of water :))

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like your story, Chris, thank you for that this morning...I am always a duck out of water. And in posh clothing stores, they would take one look at me and say "I'm sorry, we have nothing for you here."
j.

[.]

Must have been one of those snooty, expensive stores on Rodeo Drive, dear Jacob. Since returning, I am finding my words are sounding too snooty and pretentious and poems indecipherable to most. It's a fine line between writing what is in one's own mind while also trying to keep it relatable to the reader. I appreciate that my effort inspired you to write this poem and inspired others to read and comment. Thanx so much. Clever writing, as always. ⚘

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words and the inspiration.
j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

So often we feel out of place, there is only so much you csan feel like that betore cutting your losses.
your satirical humor is top notch my freeind.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Dale,
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

You are too clever rather than too cliché'. I like to take mental pictures and envision what words would best describe them. I don't like the stale repetition that pervades common description. Sometimes I hit on something that pleases me. Think of all the clichés we have handed down from old Shaky Spear. He practically invented them. It's good that you can amble vicariously; I always have to get someone to do that for me. (laughing) This was fun to read. I very much enjoyed, my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Fabian...glad you could have some fun with this.
j.

[Chris]

The strangest thing - I attended every presentation offered... radio...open mics...live reads...coffee klatches...and for mine the silence and its emptiness taught me not to let it happen to any other. Today it snowed. I looked through WC... good people here.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, Chris, very good people here.
Thank you, and Happy New Year to you.
j.

[Chris]

Sorry, had a thought-full moment. I hope your next year is as responsive as you hope it will be. Be safe.

[JE Falcon]

I've been going to those stores for years; I think my mom used to call it "Window Shopping" when you just looked but didn't, bye, bye. --- Nice choices in wording.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind comment, JE,
j.