Lease

Lease

 

 

 

empty trailer,

I lived there once

among the narrow halls

and tiny rooms

insulation tepid, half-hearted

the cold crept in often

without regard

duct tape windows of plastic feelings

 

life was a short walk

to a lonely boulevard of mistrust

security a bare cupboard

scarce of food

and alliance with self-esteem

too close to the busy road

too close to that short walk

 

the halls narrowed even more in the night

wrapped in blankets of fear

the traffic moving faster

sounding louder than my thoughts.

 

erin-cilberto

11/26/21

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

This four year old poem displays your superb creativity with metaphors. Metaphors make writing unique because mind, brain, imagination varies so much; sees and feels 'things' so differently one being to another. Perhaps more so when emotions are heightened - for example, when life is near empty and the future daring existence.

'.. and aliance with self-esteem
too close to the busy road
too close to that short walk

the halls narrowed even more in the night
wrapped in blankets of fear
the traffic moving faster
sounding louder than my thoughts.'

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you so much for reviving this one...it breathes again...I usually just write them and move on.
You brought it back and I appreciate your words, em.
j.

[Temperance]

Hello Jacob, You're such a prolific writer gifting us with multiple gems every day. I look forward to reading you work each day. I see this was posted last year but, it is new to me today! :) Such a bleak write. It is easy to feel the despair and loneliness in your words. Many can relate to this on some level. Temp

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Temperance,
j.

[Temperance]

You’re very welcome!

[Dave Brown]

Continual calamities seem to now be cluttering those empty cupboards along that ever narrowing hallway which more and more, appears to be an ever increasing staple of existence

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Dave,
j.

[Miss Sharon]

(empty trailer, I lived there once among the narrow halls and tiny rooms) Been there done that my friend. Gratefully life is much better now. I hope the same is true for you. Great writing as always. ~Sharon

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, I feel the same way...was good for a metaphor...and I live in a house now...much more secure.read moreYes, I feel the same way...was good for a metaphor...and I live in a house now...much more secure.
thank you, Sharon,
j.

[duff]

So many lines that hit chords. Nerves. Read it and came back.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, duff,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

The lessons of life. Good days, bad days. You allowed the reader to feel and understand the wild twist of life. The poem left the reader with things to ponder. Thank you Jacob for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Coyote,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[William Michael Reeves]

This spoke to me of the loss of confidence that goes with losing our basic needs. Home and sustenance. And memories freezing in the emptiness.

My landlord died and I emptied my house but ended up living there for many years after. A cold empty house full of memories. Your poem touched those memories.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your insightful review, William,
j.

[Dave]

Jacob, so much of life is here. The narrow hallways, perhaps the narrow path that leads to we know not where Trying to protect ourselves from the outside incumbrances that want to invade the little solitude that we can call our own. Ever fearful of what is outside our narrow confines and so we dear not go and see what other possibilities there are. I find this very powerful.
Take care, Jacob - Dave

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your understanding of the metaphor here, Dave.
sometimes real life does make for good metaphor...and then it is hard to tell what is real and what is not.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Wow… Jacob… my first born was brought home in 1970 to a lovely Trailer with a Narrow Hall … and he slept with us in the Captains Quarters at the end of the Hall.. although he had his own room in the middle of the Hall. At the other end of the Trailer was a Raised Kitchen with a Bay Window. Too many speed bumps to live there forever in such a large Circle. Unfortunately the marriage did not last; however, now my Son has two daughters and is happily married. Your poem is very poignant and indeed a Cup of Tea with Leaves worth Reading. Gently, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review and the share...
j.

[light and ashes]

Reading this I think of a homeless man.....
very good writing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, light,
j.

[light and ashes]

You are welcome, my friend.