on the anniversary of my first death

on the anniversary of my first death

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto

on the anniversary of my first death


naked protrusion
young confusion
he loves you all
so says he

as he gets down on his knees
and begs you please
don't tell mommy
she wouldn't understand

love's eccentricity
is duplicitous
and maybe she is an ally
in all of this madness

too dead now to share the sadness
the nightmares of rotting meat
the grave too good a bed for some
barring those without conscience

I see him through the open blind
galivanting through his own rhyme
with twisted, ugly vowels 
partitioned from reality

but it will always be hers.


erin-cilberto
11/24/2021

© 2021 jacob erin-cilberto


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The first thing that came to my mind is how we have no control of what happens to us as children. Children dying their first death at the hand of twisted, ugly love. Then carrying the shame invisible in the glare of pretentious normality.

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

so true,
thank you, William,
j.
Hi Jacob, a terrible truth comes through your words. It must be hard for a child to see the unseen and then be able to tell of what has been seen. It becomes a secret that can destroy from within. Sometimes life can truly sadden me. Another powerful write from your pen, Jacob. Have a wonderful Sunday....Mike.

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Mike...appreciate your words,
j.
shadrach hah

2 Years Ago

You are welcome, Jacob. Have a wonderful Tuesday....Mike.
I loved how you twisted the words Jacob.
"love's eccentricity
is duplicitous
and maybe she is an ally
in all of this madness"
The above lines, I liked and I understood. We do become ally to the madness. Thank you my friend for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words, Coyote,
j.
Coyote Poetry

2 Years Ago

You are welcome Jacob.
your title caught my eye j.
My father died "two deaths", but not in the sense of this poem. Not caught out in an affair ... as far as I know he was faithful ... but literally died twice. I wrote about it a while ago.

Not good for a child to discover daddy "en flagrante" as it were. Images that would be hard to digest.

The grave is too good a bed for some ... and some accept far more than they should.

All in all a powerful write.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

thank you for your kind review, and sharing how you relate to this piece, Ted,
j.
Has the sound of betrayal and its aftermath. A parent has apparently be caught in some extramarital mischief by his child, whom he begs not to tell his mother. Shortly thereafter, we are given the hint that "mommy" might already be aware of the way things are. People, for their own reasons, do tolerate such situations. The child is understandably bruised by all this. The sense is that he has not forgiven, even though time has passed. Some scars do not fade.

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

a very interesting perspective here, John.
Thank you for this slant on this piece.
j.
This is crazy, I was working on one this morning on this subject, well I will be putting that one away, this is too good and on a subject that needs to be put out there and given light. This is brilliant and painful and one of your best

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

thank you, Patricia, although I think yours need to be read as well.

j.
We never know what goes on behind closed doors. The sickness in some people is abhorrent. The damage they inflict, permanent. Who do you trust as a child when the very people who are supposed to have your best interests at heart completely fail you. Hard to take in, but this is the reality that some minors have to deal with. A tough read J.

Chris

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

And yet, children are so damn honest. We could learn much from them.
thank you, Chris,
.. read more
Chris Shaw

2 Years Ago

the anger is evident.....
The only thing I can say to this. Is teach your kids to never keep that secret. But go running to the one person you can trust.


Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Cherrie, but learning who can be trusted, even parents...who knows...
j.
Cherrie Palmer

2 Years Ago

Yes sometimes that's not easy. That's a horrible truth.

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Added on November 24, 2021
Last Updated on November 24, 2021

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at a community college and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. I am here to read for inspiration from other po.. more..

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