Tick-tock Tick-tock

Tick-tock  Tick-tock

 

 

 

3:23

 

still fraternizing 

with the imaginary man

in the moon,

hopeful that my eyesight is errant

 

and she is a woman

a Mary to make me holy again

or hail me a cab

 

so I can go visit the other Mary

on the wrong side of town

just to feel better

for a breath of a moment

she's lovely

 

I wear Magdalene shirts

with pictures of crosses on them

pinned to my chest

I might be hanging there someday

 

I am a thief of life

giving back nothing

 

3:26

still an illegitimate 

child of writing

even at ? years old

 

what is a century

how long before 

I'm a Bob Dylan wannabe

knocking on heaven's door

sipping some holy water

 

apologizing to both Mary's

for being the me 

I can't decide to like.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/7/2021

Reviews

[ogirhsog]

Well, your poem doesn't seem to have any particular rhyme or rhythm. Consequently I'm not sure it could properly be considered a "poem" per se. I'm afraid it doesn't really make much sense either. I just can't tell from reading it, what it's actually supposed to be about. Perhaps you could expand it a bit more and add some more details, so as to make it more clear just what your poem is actually about?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your honest words, ogirhsog,
j.

[Lorry]

Your ending here Jacob are written in neon to me, while that light bulb moment above my head flickered, fizzed and died as I wished I had written it.
The me I can't decide to like sums up perfectly the angel and imps battle raging on my shoulders for superiority. (I think we all know who is winning so far)
This speaks to me of thoughts you vs actions you, I mean me, not you. Its just that imp on my shoulder being a b***h and putting thoughts in my head... (No I won't bloody ask him if he's Santa Claus... Piss off imp!) 😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for relating to this....and getting rid of that imp on your shoulder.
I don't think he is Santa Claus.
j.

[AJNJ]

I sense an anxiousness in your words...a sense of doom, of condemnation, perhaps in the after-life. There is guilt here...The kind that comes with slight hope of absolution...A thief of life...as you called yourself...giving back nothing...Poets do consume life unbashedly and we are never sure of what we give back. We tend to internalize everything we take from life...Just my thoughts.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, so true...We do consume life...I always wonder if I will ever give enough back...I doubt it.read moreYes, so true...We do consume life...I always wonder if I will ever give enough back...I doubt it.
thank you for your insights AJNJ---

j.

[AYVID N]

The two Marys within...They can never resolve their issues...But we are human and perhaps not equipped to ever be holy enough...good enough, legit enough to resolve them and decide to like ourselves.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I've held a special place in my heart for Magdalene...
she is so human----someone flawed but real.
thank you, DIVYA,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

You never know the other Mary May have been Proud Mary. Nice comparison J. Stunning form!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Mary M. is one of my heroes...
she was who she was...and honest about it...a very real person...flawed but with a heart.
thank you, andrew,
j.

[Kaylor Mason]

Interesting. Really brings up the debate of destiny vs. free will. I agree with barleygirl about the imagery of two Marys--that was brilliant! The clock element reminds me of something I used to say: Mother Nature is a warm, kind mistress, and Father Time is merciless. No matter what we do, we can't stop time. (It would be nice if we could.)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Kaylor,
j.

[barleygirl]

Your depiction of "different Marys" is a brilliant way to re-invent the well-used axiom about having the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The late-night teeter-totter you describe harkens to a time when we were still fretting over right & wrong. Nowadays my insomnia has nothing to do with that *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry, yes, the catholic poet. the boy part.
thank you, Margie,
j.

[MCS]

I hate those 3 am moments
But often they provide insight and fodder for writing
Well done

[jacob erin-cilberto]

they sure do, Mary...:)))) the third Mary.
j.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

still an illegitimate
child of writing

This got to me very much....how you view yourself...your poetic voice....poetic existence. The muse becomes Magdalene here, for me and we keep looking for legitimacy, acceptance, approval for our words. A century certainly isn't enough....I wonder if we'll be apologizing for ourselves eternally.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am sure I will be....
thank you for your understanding, Dhara,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

I worked near St. Matthews Cathedral in
Washinton, D.C. many Moons ago. At lunch time.
I would eat my sandwich brought from home, and
walk to the Cathedral. Once inside, I would go to
the Statue of Mary up above the Alter as she reached out
from a blue background as if to say.... give me your
concerns and I will take them to the Lord in Prayer.
Many of my Prayers were answered in due Season...
A Poet is never a Thief when prayers are rendered from
your Heart. The other Mary may be the intended to be
made whole if forgiveness is bestowed. tenderly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I agree...she may be intended to be whole.
Insightful thoughts here that blend with and straighten out mine...thank you, Pat,
j.