a destitute rhymer

a destitute rhymer 

undo me at your will

my heart lies upon your sill

shut the breeze or welcome me

with arms of succor or embraced coldly

I rest inertly, barely breathing

waiting for a deceptive greeting

even that I would gladly accept

for I know my love to be inept

through the pane I see

the wordless villain who resembles me

and in the reflection the beauty who rests

with heart turned to stone and frozen breast

the wordless villain who resembles me

and a life lived so inconsequently

erin-cilberto

1/24/2021

Reviews

[AYVID N]

We so often compromise in love and are willing to accept a love less than perfect. I could relate to this so much. Happened a lot to me. Its great to read a rhyming poem from you, dear Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for putting up with my bad attempts at Rhyme, DIVYA,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful use of words and thoughts Jacob.
"the wordless villain who resembles me
and a life lived so inconsequently"
I did like the above lines. A wordless villain. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Coyote...you are one of the poets here who inspires me most because you write so much from the heart and gut.
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[emmajoy]

There's another you gazing and looking too, you know. Searching perhaps, as you are, for the right words at the right moment. One plus one doesn't always equal the sum total.. and, sadly tis the destitute poet that ends up making sand castles instead of love but, be sure, is rare in the Winter when chills cause havoc!

'.. and in the reflection the beauty who rests ~ with heart turned to stone and frozen breast.. '

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Wow....you are so insightful...you know me better than I know me...or at least the poet in me.
thank you for your kind words...I feel pretty lame when I rhyme....don't think I do it very well, but thanks.

[emmajoy]

I never have been able to rhyme and barely scratch the surface of other genres.. whereas you, jacob.. could make magic out of a crumb! Even the Bard had his moments. Take care of yourself, sir, keep safe!

[.]

Nice rhyming, a slight shift from your usual self and you are marvelling here too!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am still trying to figure out who my regular self is, Sima.
Maybe I am just a poetic fraud....and everyone is fooled, thinking I know what the hell I am doing.
I just write what comes to me...steal it from the air.
I appreciate your constant support...
j.

[.]

A true poet knows how to grab the air and make it a poetic marvel, otherwise the atmosphere is so dull here. And reading your instant talent is a real pleasure for us...

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

"undo me at your will
my heart lies upon your sill"
Aaah, be still my heart- Yes it is truly J., rhyming these lovely couplets in the lyrical style! Not your usual, but penned to penultimate perfection my friend. You melt your frozen ladylove's resolve most certainly with your lovers' beseeching words. "shut the breeze or welcome me
with arms of succor or embraced coldly". Methinks those arms will be warm as toast after hearing you at her windowpane! Kudos!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you so much, Annette...
I am not in my comfort zone with couplets and rhymes so thank you for your kind words.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Rhymed couplets from Jacob with repetition as an added bonus. I enjoyed this very much. Now what has happened to your muse? Has she been replaced by another or maybe your existing muse wanted to spring a surprise on us all?

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Surprises me when she does this to me...not my forte for sure.
thank you for being kind.
read moreSurprises me when she does this to me...not my forte for sure.
thank you for being kind.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

I have come back for a further read, now I am over the surprise of seeing you rhyme. It may not be your comfort zone, but it suits you well enough. These lines are a touching plea for a frozen heart to melt and show some warmth. I really liked this poem.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

When it comes to love either you're in or your out. A heart Is no ti be played with.

Love the rhyming scheme

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Dale, as I do not have the rhyming talent
that so many of our WC poets have, including you.
j.

[Stella Armour]

Not only rhyme but repetition as well, a proper treat from you today Jacob .... :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Stella.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

A life lived inconsequentially
will be rewarded eventually.
Whether villain or hero you be
whether peon or marquis
Keep writing and you will find
to be near you others are inclined
Your words are the magic beans
So keep writing...by all means! See, Jacob, now you've done it! LOL I doubt you will ever be wordless, my friend. Your words are always a joy to read. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like your response poem...you are so talented and kind,
j.

[h d e rushin]

like Wordsworth who wrote of mostly pastoral folk who lived among nature, the "Destitute rhymer" is more casual than cordial meaning that his (this) self prophesy is neither bewildering nor deprived. In fact, the poet is the least destitute of us all, as Amanda Gorman told us at the inauguration of President Biden. She said, "Being Americans (poets)
is more than a pride we
inherit, it's the past we
step into and how we
repair it"

you and she are amazing....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

to be included in the same sentence with Amanda...that is a compliment that hits me deeply in the heart...thank you, dana.
and at the same time you were reading and commenting on this piece...i was doing likewise with your excellent new write.
your work always inspires me. thanks for that.
j.