bedsores

bedsores

 

 

 

i love

 

and then

 

i lose faith when the sun rises

and the shadows from the blind

streak across the empty side

 

of my eyes

i see floating angels

 

i love 

 

and then

 

there is an imprint on the other pillow

a delicate smile rested upon

the downy softness 

of desire

 

i love

 

and then

 

it's night time again

and i imagine 

the belated response

belated response

 

i search

 

and then

 

you rise with the faith of a sun

i open the blinds

the angels land

 

they are humans again

they are crying

for me

 

i love

 

and then

 

i test my wings

shed a feather

it lands on the pillow

with the imprint

 

we fly away together

looking down

there is a window

 

it is cracked and dusty

the dream is closed.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/9/2020

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a long & arduous tussle, going thru the sinewave of love & longing, sounding as if all that surrounds this narrator is conspiring against him in this struggle. Nicely unique & hauntingly stated (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Margie,
j.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

I love the wistfulness in your words...Reading you here I realize how we spend more time in our lives with the shadows, the imprints and the emptiness that love leaves in its wake than actually with love itself. So much so that even the angels seem to weep for us. To me, you churned out the true essence of love in this poem!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Dhara.
I appreciate your very kind review.
j.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

A pleasure to read you as always, my friend.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Wow, very poetic and impressively explained and expressed. So many good lines, "Angel's land " "I test my wings, shed a feather". This poem is breathtaking and was a delight to read. I didn't expect why Bed Sores would be the title but now I understand. Cleverly done. Tyfs

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your read and kind comments, Cyprian,
j.

[Marina]

Bedsores of a much different kind; the kind where laying in an empty bed makes one sore for the lack of love and presence. There is a very dreamy quality that pervades this write, Jacob, and I also get a sense of continuous love and loss through the use of repetition. Be it reality or dreams, a bed without a companion to share it with is a sad, cold miserable place. Such a heart tugging poem. 💛

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your understanding and kind review, Marina,
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

You begin in a valley
and, somehow, go lower.
Gorgeously constructed melancholy.
Last few lines, heartbreaking imagery.
Amazing poetry!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Jimmy,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Truly wonderous
So ethereal
I loved this
We can all interpret it how we want

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Julie,
j.

[John the Baptist]

The shadow of loss and loneliness falls over this one. The imprint on the pillow indicates someone who should be there, isn't. The last part of the poem seems to be a dream of reunion, but in the end, it is just a dream.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful review, John...
You surely went where I was...
j.

[Corset]

I hereby accuse you of being a closet hummingbird Jacob :D As I read this, it made me weep for the sheer beauty and sadness within it, my new favorite of yours

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your empathetic words, Corset,
j.

[Pete]

title immediately drew me in. that's the thing about lying in bed - we do a lot of thinking. let us forever be thankful for those "and then's". ouch ending. just remember to turn over occasionally to avoid the sores. wonderful piece of writing j. ... :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I will remember that....thank you, Pete,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

'Just before the dawn
I awake to find you gone'

Your words drew the perfect comparison to Orbison's song.

Surely there is nothing more hurting than to wake in an empty bed. But, the sun comes up and a new day begins and we move on to new adventures.

Well done j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ted,
j.