i am

i am

 

 

i don't want  to

grow old,

run limp,

choke on mental lapses

needing Heimlich to rescue my thoughts

 

fidget with angry legs

moving towards the gates

of eternity's finish line

 

i don't want to

lose you,

live alone,

find myself breathing sour thoughts

of solitude,

of sitting on our love seat

alone

 

growing old

running limp,

spitting up a drool of nonsense

needing a bib to catch my words

 

i don't want to

but time is restless

 

and my poetry

is running out of youth

it is turning white

like the paper upon which it is written

 

and i am fading into it

i don't want to

but i am.

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/17/2020 

Reviews

[Cassie]

Your poetry is as white as new!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and my age is in my hair...white like Casper the ghost...and just as scary.
j.

[Cassie]

aahhhah..send me a pic I confirm

[albee]

Like a burnt out star
A rose will explode
When too old to persevere

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate your poetic reply, albee,
j.

[ice_cubes]

I also don't want to grow old .What can we do Jacob?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

hard as it is, accept it i guess...
thank you for the read.
j.

[ice_cubes]

you are welcome

[.]

Growing old is a natural phenomena.... But getting old is not..... Therefore, positivity within heart and smile in lips can make this journey beautiful. As they say aging gracefully.........

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, there is that...aging gracefully...
although it is a bit harder in this climate...
thank you, Sima
j.

[h d e rushin]

"If the poet is to be held completely to the already evolved and exploited sequences of imagery and logic - what field of added consciousness and increased perceptions (the actual province of poetry) can be expected when one has to relatively return to the alphabet every breath or two? Here, Hart Crane was testing the poetic logic of metaphor as a search for emotion. We are all old then Jacob...older than yesterday....much older than last year this time. And yet when we read your poems we never reluctantly look for age as a sigh post or visionary marker to guide us through the intensity of it.
Sometime's I have my sister read a poem or two of mine....And she comes back to me and says, "not that Black thing again Dana"?. Haltingly I respond,,,yes, that Black thing again. It happens brother. ..Response theorizes emotions and vis-versa, just like the moon describes the night. Your brave and amazing.....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your understanding review...it's a thing!
with us poets...ain't it?

read morethank you for your understanding review...it's a thing!
with us poets...ain't it?

j.

[iliOZ]

on the other hand erin ... you know the old cliché wine gets better with age.

i am with you on your "looking back on my life" stance but don't let fade into nor out, my friend

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, and yes, that wine...mmmm.
iliOZ...
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

What a scenario we all fall into j. I feel your emotion in every line-“needing a bib to catch my lines”. So true. Every word resonates with me. Your brevity, language, metaphors, alliteration and message are so skillful always. Yes, old age is humbling and inevitable- our poetry “turning white”, fading like we are. But remember, written words are evergreen! Wait, let me put on my lipstick and big girl pants, pick myself up and carry on. Today I can do it. Tomorrow, well who knows...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, tomorrow...who knows?
thank you for your understanding words, Annette,
j.

[barleygirl]

I love this on so many levels! Your zingers are off-the-charts: "needing Heimlich to rescue my thoughts" . . . "spitting up a drool of nonsense" . . . "needing a bib to catch my words" . . . you make old age sound delightful! But more to the point, I do often feel I'm repeating myself . . . do I use the same words, idioms, ideas over & over? I know I've written at least a hundred dog poems, dozens of moon poems, & quite a number of frog poems. That's a sure sign I'm toast (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but you write wonderful dog, moon and frog poems...
so butter yourself on both sides...toast is not a bad thing...if it's real butter.

[Gee]

Even at 58 I groan when getting out of the chair, grunt when bending to put my socks on and often forget names and dates of "things to do"
There are msny, many more poems in you yet Jacob, many. And as Kelly so rightly says you have helped so many on this site not only improve their writing but to also think about using different styles, so from me, for that, thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Gee,
j.

[Dave]

My goodness, what a timely piece. Yesterday I visited my brother-in-law, a fine gentleman, but he is now nothing like I last remembered him. He just came home from a chemo treatment and it took half an hour for him to get from the car into his home. For all, I like and love I pray, please dear God, not me.
Take care - Dave

[jacob erin-cilberto]

chemo just knocks a soul down so harshly...I hope he gets better...
j.