abuse of art

abuse of art

 

 

words pistol-whipped to fit

into bloody stanzas

told to straighten up and fly right

to rhyme right

to rhythm right

to mean just one thing

not one more thing

just that one thing

that the poem confessed

alas the truth serum worked

 

a few of the words escaped

now the rhythm is askew

and some of the rhyme

i ask you

 

was it slant rhyme?

and is it still near?

 

can we capture it again?

or should we just let it run free verse?

 

and are meanings beaten out of poems

really meanings?

 

or just tired poems

giving in.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/5/2020

Reviews

[Dave]

Jacob - I'm so akin to you! I seldom, if ever worry whether or not my poetry rhymes. I supposed that I'm addicted to "free verse". I think the thought, the feeling, the essence of the poem is the most important element.
Thanks for pointing it out to so many.
Take care - Dave

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I feel that way...if rhyme comes naturally...and some days it does, then fine...but otherwise...just let the writing take us where it will...no confinements...
thank you, Dave,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob... this is parrallel to the state of our Country.. so much free verse, but the cost is out of control. The truth serum has been stolen... like pollen in lovely flowers. An awesome poem for prosperity. gently, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

very much out of control...
thank you for your words, Pat,
j.

[Samuel Dickens]

For some, there's just no way to get by without a gun. (I find this notion of "pistol-whipping" words a bit humorous. Am pretty sure I know someone who does that.)
Being a "Mary had a little lamb" kind of poet makes me a poor authority on the subject, but I see something similar happening in some stories, too. May all our endeavors be thoughtful and not hurried.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, we can only hope they are not hurried...although I am more of a conduit than a writer....so my writes are done in a frenzy...
Thank you, Sam....appreciate your visit and words.
j.

[mariposa]

I will be honest with you, your title is captivating and that's why I clicked on this. As I first read your poem, I was confused but when I read farther, I understood. Your style of writing is original and creative!! this is a masterpiece!! I'd love to see more of your work

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, mariposa,
j.

[Stella Armour]

i think you have been trying to write a sonnet .... hahaha

[jacob erin-cilberto]

What's a sonnet? :))))
I think sonnets and I would get along like mixing chocolate syrup with grapefruit juice.

[Stella Armour]

think so too Jacob, a alot of my sonnets end up being something else lol

[Fran Marie]

Another creative
and we'll crafted piece
of fine art from your
ever flowing pen.
love the words
pistol -whipped
to fit....good one

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Fran..
j.

[Beccy]

A classic ode, or a chalk scribble on a wall, it matters not, what counts is the journey a poem can take you on; interpretation being one of the great joys gifted to the reader.

Art is art; form, just physical structure, which needs the beating heart of a poet to gift it life.

Beccy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Beccy...love your perspective...
j.

[barleygirl]

A deliciously vicious job of dicing up my tendency to overwork a poem! *wink! wink!* Sheesh! It isn't that my OCD rhyming destroys any meaning that might've been freed from my words . . . the reality = there wasn't any meaning in that poem anyway & all I got to give is the crazed spill of tortured verse! Kidding aside, there are poets who can ONLY torture verse to form & I love how you put starched stanzas in the blender & frappe it into smoothie! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Margie...hope you are staying healthy, with what's going on.
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I can't force out words. I need good song and good reading.
"words pistol-whipped to fit
into bloody stanzas
told to straighten up and fly right
to rhyme right
to rhythm right"
I did like the above lines. To pistol whip some words. Hard to do. Thank you Jacob for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Coyote...
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[lightsong]

oh My!!! I always knew You to be brilliant and each time You surprise us with Your creatively smart talent but here it's something really exceptional, a fine art from a fine bard. always, always and ALWAYS what matter is the true heart who is flowing in the words rhythm-ed to its beat, the pure essence of us, in the thoughts, in the feelings... anything forced will be read with the same "force" feeling. amazing amazing write Mr. Jacob! Thank You 💕

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Light.
j.