immovable feast

immovable feast

 

 

 

drifting mantis preys

on flower bed victim lies

impetuous end

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

12/5/19

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love this straightforward word painting with strong imagery & feeling (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Margie...have never had much luck with publication of senryu and haiku...so pretty much never thought I was much good at them.
you are encouraging with your words.
j.

[barleygirl]

I would think senryu/haiku to be right up your alley . . . to me the 2 most important things are to speak in imagery & to make every syllable count (no fluff) . . . that's exactly how you write naturally! By the way, watched Days of Heaven, worth $24 to a cheapskate like me . . . reminded me of one of my favorite movies that I watch over & over, "Of Mice & Men" with Gary Sinese, & I will watch this new DVD repeatedly too. It's done in an artistic way to celebrate the people & the land & the creatures, but some might feel this is a little abstract, as a way of storytelling, but the pacing is amazingly fast, despite the many dallies on artful tangents.

[barleygirl]

About the dough, included a 40-pg booklet very detailed & interesting about everything to do with this movie & its participants!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

glad you liked it...i remember thinking it was quite worthwhile..Malik directing it...he did The Thin Red Line too which i thought was one of the best war movies..
As for the publications I sent to...they both told me that haiku and senryu are no longer 5-7-5 syllable count...
I am sure the Japanese might have something to say about that.

[barleygirl]

Everything we held sacred eventually gets fucked with . . . *wink! wink!*

[AYVID N]

Impetuous can be brave and passionate. Not a bad death I’d say. And on a flower bed too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like your positive take on this...dying a damn happy death...
thanks, DIVYA,
j.

[AYVID N]

You’re welcome, Jacob.

[Ted Kniffen]

Impetuousness has almost always spelled the end of love...but having your head bitten off will definitely put an end to it.
The female has always had the power...males only think it's them.
Brute strength is not the same thing.
Gives a whole new meaning to 'hi honey, I'm home.'

Tells a lot in a few syllables j.
Well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review...and yes, they do have the power.
j.

[kentuck14]

The preying mantis is indeed a strange enough insect . . . wonder how he manages to stay so slim!?
T

[jacob erin-cilberto]

well, actually the female eats the male...so the males don't get much chance to eat...:)))
yes, a strange insect indeed.
j.

[kentuck14]

Oh . . . same old story!!!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

exactly, my poetic friend...same old story...
at least we know what is coming.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Usually, takes an impetuous beginning to bring about an "impetuous end."
Starkly vivid and most creative imagery.
Almost a Zen koan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Jimmy,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Impetuous can be lovely... unless
you trust Spiders.... truly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

good point, Pat....good point...:))))

[MomzillaNC]

Death by impetuousness…

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Nice brevity J, reminds me of a praying mantis having a beer with the caption " Might as well have another one, she's going to bite my head off anyway when I get home".

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh, that "Blank"---and she probably will.
j.

[redzone]

do we ever 'pay attention' to dangers all around us, especially when it comes to 'love', impetuous or even thought out... nicely written and thought provoking haiku Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i remember being impetuous...and it took too many lessons for me to learn to be careful...but geez, reckless abandon felt good.
thank you, Curt.
j.