my revision of you

my revision of you

plagiarize me, please

cause then i will steal your eyes

see how my poem reads

erin-cilberto

12/3/19

Reviews

[Mark Mendoza]

O! The many ways to hear a song, the many ways to see a poem. And so the world turns with eyes on itself in reflections of everything else!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, there are many ways...many ways,
thank you, Mark.
j.

[Stella Armour]

Unlike everyone else i found this amusing, i could almost see your smile as you said it lol .... maybe it's my English sense of humour ?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was smiling the entire time i was writing this...so yes....thank you, Stella.
j.

[Paul Shannon]

Simultaneously clever and modest, love this

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Paul.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

The plight of the poet...having someone you care for read your poem and tell you they really like it...but there is always that doubt that asks what are they thinking...is this bit good or crap...if only I could see it through their eyes, I'd know the truth of how my poem reads.

We are a group with a definite confidence issue.

Good one j. Says a lot in few words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, do they just say that because they like us and want to give us strokes?
exactly...
yes, poets for the most part have very tiny egos..if they are honest with themselves.
j.

[Fran Marie]

"....to see ourselves as others see us" surely would be a true gift .

.nicely penned senyru

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Fran,
j.

[Dennis Shanaberg]

Really like this. An interesting reversal in such a short collection of words

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you again for your kind words, Dennis,
j.

[Laura Kate]

Wow! I followed you through this almost like an out-of-body experience. I have studied film and thoroughly enjoyed the concept of perception, and the gaze. How we all wish we could reverse the gaze, see ourselves through the eyes of others. To bring the world of poetry into this, through your poem, and to contemplate your own psychology through this is so clever. I wish I had thought to write something like this!
Laura.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i enjoyed reading your review as much as i enjoyed writing this poem---
thank you
j.

[Laura Kate]

My pleasure!
Laura.

[kitty]

Temptation sneaks upon one. It is the victory of a 'catch' that pleases most. Clear, direct appealing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you again for your words, kitty,
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

I most often "steel" her eyes.
Strikes me as being a fervently devotional invitation.
Nice!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Jimmy,
j.

[barleygirl]

I love how startling & outside-the-dots this is (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Margie,
j.