the little shelter in the snow

the little shelter in the snow

 

 

 

agitated lover,

caressed by her tears

 

can't do more than absorb them

upon his own skin

 

he wants to shake them loose

hold her eyes in his

so she feels at home

within iris walls

the safe space within his vision

 

so that with dry cheeks

they can climb mountains of tribulations

with a certain ease

 

leave that cold cabin of fear

and intimate pain

 

to dwell on an apex

in amalgamated glory.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/9/19

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This reminds me of the kind of guy who stands on the sidelines, longing for this other person to notice him, being the soft place for her to land as she bounces from one aborted venture to another, hoping to insinuate himself into her life eventually (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, yes...such an insightful review...but no surprise, coming from you, Margie.
thank you.read morewow, yes...such an insightful review...but no surprise, coming from you, Margie.
thank you.
j.

[Anjeline]

Wonderfully written. I really liked the language and the use of eyes and Iris in such a way as in lines-
he wants to shake them loose
hold her eyes in his
so she feels at home
within iris walls
the safe space within his vision.

Very nice work 👍

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Anjeline...
j.

[Anjeline]

You're welcome and it's my pleasure to read such good work.

[andrew mitchell]

I see old age, a dying love and the wish to rewind the clock, a sad writeJ.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew...
j.

[Chris Shaw]

That feeling of wanting to make everything better, wanting all to be peace and harmony. Sadly that only works, if the other wants it too. Poignant piece here Jacob and relatable too.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, my friend.
j.

[Lorry]

This is what poetry is all about Jacob. Not only to convey the writers thoughts, but to inspire in others that moment of perfect clarity, that is so clearly heatd and felt, the hope that they too will reach that pinnacle of thought kissing the page with no possibility of contradiction.
Feels a little unfair to pick a standout line, but holding her eyes in his, well... Perfect.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your considerate review, my friend....and your understanding.
j.

[Lorry]

You are very welcome.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

It's a natural inclination to provide shelter for those you love, even more so is the desire to pull them close when they are pulling away. In the process, you can find yourself open to the elements with no shelter of your own. All the love in the world is never enough if the same is not reciprocated, that intimate pain too deeply felt and known.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful review, Linda,
j.

[Crowley]

The desires of men to fix, rarely does the understanding go deep enough. I have been here, and have failed and succeeded, but the failures sound more deeply. Trying is the key that will eventually get the rusty lock to turn but patience is the trust that allows us to throw away the locks all together. Great writing Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Crowley...
j.

[Linda alexander]

Superb and picturesque explanation of true empathy and love, beautifully done with enriched words like amalgamation, excellent job.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Linda,
j.

[kentuck14]

To draw those into shelter from the storm into a safe place. Compassion is what makes us human.
T

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it sure is, T.
thank you,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob.... to amalgamate is a generous offering
when two souls merge... and reach the pinnacle or
High Noon of love and caring... where Eagles fly and nest.
truly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Pat,
j.