Writing you in

 

Writing you in

 

 

 

i suppose i could prose you

into loving me

if i wrote enough paragraphs

and kept them sharp and witty

with a touch of circuitous sentiment

 

subliminally added to engage your heart

to semantic heights

 

but the poetic side of me

would rather use brevity

and levity

implying 

more than

applying

the pressure of constipated writing

 

a succinctly straightforward few words

even clumsily constructed

might tease your emotions enough

 

to get you to try to interpret me

interrupt me

understand me attempting to understand you

 

love doesn't need a Thesaurus

or citations

footnotes

or end notes

 

just for one

to see another

and let the meaning

be absorbed by two hearts

iambic-ally beating as one. 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/25/19

Reviews

[MissEnigmas]

A mispelled word...a sentence unwritten,
a voice never heard...love wanton on the page of his heart.
Its never dull with you j.

MissE*

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, MissE.
j.

[kentuck14]

Again, JEC . . . the master of extended metaphor! J, do you do readings of your poems . . . would be interesting to hear the voice behind these most interesting pieces??!!!
T

[jacob erin-cilberto]

haven't for awhile..used to perform with Eric Mandat...clarinetist from SIU...that was fun...we did a blues poetry duet..
performed on PBS television for a few years...
j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, T.

[kentuck14]

any recordings?

[light and ashes]

Interesting wording, it flows really well at the end.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, angel.
j.

[light and ashes]

You're welcome Jacob Erin ♥️😊

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Just so Jacob! Love the pitter and the patter of your words, the changes in rhythm and flow In this unique poem. The rhyme, beat, energy and ‘real-ness’ of your third verse excel. “The pressure of constipated writing”- yes, the waste of so many empty words in so many empty relationships- ‘iambic-ally’ off kilter. Relevant, gutsy write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Annette,
j.

[drew garner]

I thought it was interesting, sometime the direct fragmentation of the heart is better than a list directed by the brain.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is so true, drew...yes...
thank you,
j.

[barleygirl]

This is the best study I've ever read regarding the widespread phenomenon of people courting online (i.e. by written word). I love how you distill the dilemma . . . whether to "wow" the other person with grand flowing seductions . . . or to be mysterious (sometimes brevity goes haywire when intentions get lost in the ether). I love how you switch up your rhythm/flow & love such killer phrases as: "understand me attempting to understand you" *smile* Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your really kind review, Margie,
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I am sitting here staring out the window. After a cold, rainy morning, the sun burst forth. Now, the sky is beautifully blue, with wisps of white, and the trees are painted on that canvas of blue in shades of green, yellow, red, and orange. So beautiful! I think words are much the same. Words are like paint, and we can use them to paint a beautiful canvas. We can weave our words to embroider our thoughts into life even if only on paper. You always do that so magnificently. Well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we had that weather all day yesterday and today, beautiful...thank you for your kind words, Linda,read morewe had that weather all day yesterday and today, beautiful...thank you for your kind words, Linda,
j.

[R.E. Ray]

Ah, to truly be genuine and spontaneous! Personally, I know the struggle. Yet, your poem reminds us our true self is and always should be good enough, poet and reader alike. Perhaps our common imperfections make us one. How do you do this everyday, J.? So much material and depth, and it's all good.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, and those common imperfections are what make us perfect in my eyes.
thank you, R.E...read moreyes, and those common imperfections are what make us perfect in my eyes.
thank you, R.E...
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree Jacob.
"just for one
to see another
and let the meaning
be absorbed by two hearts
iambic-ally beating as one"
The above lines. A lasting wish for the all of us. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind comment, Coyote,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[Einstein Noodle]

if it only were so simple eh!? light spirited, serious poem for all writers to read ;) oh, if only it were that simple .. what a world we would be :{
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, E....if only....thank you,
j.