closing shop

closing shop

 

 

 

a blue jay sang off key

and i breathed a last breath

the oaks above squandered tears

and the real rain became a dried gulch of apathy

 

squirrels celebrated

unbeknownst to what they were cheering

as acorns dropped from God's sky

at least that was the last sound that reached my ears

 

and then a few blades of grass turned brown

a cold wind choked the last of summer's warmth

the shades of life were drawn

and soon an empty house was covered in white prayer.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/10/19

Reviews

[Crowley]

Wow, spooky. Reminded me of a John Cusack movie I just watched never Grow Old. You captured the scene in starkest of backdrops. Got the chills reading it. Fantastic pen Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Crowley.
j.

[barleygirl]

I love how autumn is falling in slow motion, stingy, with a ho-hum attitude, pinching out a teensy bit of fanfare here & there. Like autumn could really give a s**t what kind of display we humans expect to see! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, exactly...it could care less about us...but we might care about it more...i love autumn and the colors...like appreciating loved ones when we know they aren't long for this world.
thank you, Margie.
j.

[Eugi]

This draws me into changing of the season, which some dread the demise of summer. Then there are those that welcome change and the emotional journey. Beautifully written.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Eugi,
j.

[Eugi]

You're welcome.

[DAH]

This "Ode To The Changing Season" brings up a range of fine poetic lines that leads the reader into a longing for both the season leaving and the one coming in: " then a few blades of grass turned brown // a cold wind choked the last of summer's warmth.

Bravo, jacob!
DAH

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words DAH,
j.

[DAH]

My pleasure!

[Lorry]

Sounds like you are bringing down the shutters with the thought of oncoming harshness, which is an ideal cover for turning the key to closed in memoriam to sharing any more emotion that backfires on us time and again, locking ourselves away from pain that is always on our mind anyway.
Okay, I'm deflecting your words on to my thoughts, but in my defence, the shutters are rusted in place and I mislaid the key years ago.
A covering of white always brings hope, that there will be a new scene when melted. I'll let you know if it ever happens Jacob...but no holding breath.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks for sharing how this poem and you relate to each other...appreciate your words, Lorry,
j.

[Tinabells]

I wish I have this kind of motivation to continue writing. This is good Sir Jacob :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Tina,
j.

[Lea Sheryn]

This sounds like a good bye to summer.

Where I grew up, the sidewalks were rolled up on Labor Day and everything slept until Memorial Day.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Lea,
j.

[Lea Sheryn]

You're welcome!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Some great analogies to describe the change of seasons. Especially that last line was brilliant.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Dale,
j.