Audience

Audience

sunshine submarines

down under

moonshine mermaids

drunken slumber

ocean beds of starfish enterprise

we rocket under waves

under cover

earning hangover Sundays

at blue current churches

sermons from passing Angel fish

winging their way to heaven

oh the kisses sweet

the soft touches 

of the minnows shimmering

in the light

we stroll beneath the surface of love

and bask in the naked eddies 

being pulled further down into the abyss

of passion as

sunshine submarines

pass above us

and the moonshine mermaids

curl their long tails

into a smile

of approval

as we find God in the deep.

erin-cilberto

8/27/19

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

This reads like a conflict between being spiritual or believing in fairy tales or legends as are the mermaids. Both are an entities where one can only scratch the surface for there is nothing tangible in both.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

true we can only scratch the surface of those...i like where you took this...thank you, andrew.
read moretrue we can only scratch the surface of those...i like where you took this...thank you, andrew.
j.

[kentuck14]

Missed this one somehow . . . glad I found it!
T

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, T.
j.

[Lorry]

I M probably way off, but drowning our sorrows and seeing the world from the bottom of a glass/ bottle is the overall feel I get from this. (as soon as I saw the word abyss, I made a "mm-hmm sound involuntarily.)
Those damn mermaids get us every time.
" we stroll" verse is the one for me that resonates with me. I can picture the belated reaction on my face as I descend, like a frog realising he's being slowly boiled alive. That look is my default setting these days 😀
It's only when we fall so deep that we see that we are just a minnow too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

very insightful review..i like this take..thank you, Lorry,
j.

[gram linski]

I loved the way the language crashed and merged flowing like ocean waves, sublime imagery and poetry

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, gram,
j.

[barleygirl]

I love the sealife dance between sensual & spiritual here. Your imagery is bobbing my heart along with a much-favored ocean scenario, popping with deeper meanings scattered about! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Margie...
appreciate your kindness...feeling a bit like now i am in one of those places...you know...kind of written out...
so may be awhile till the next post.
that just gives me more time for reading and commenting..:))))

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Sounds like quite a romantic interlude hot enough to melt icebergs.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dale,
j.

[R.E. Ray]

“God in the deep” and perhaps something less in the shallows? Intended or not, I read sarcasm (mostly well-deserved) for church-Sunday Christians and others who skim the surface of life. Another thought-provoker, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind and insightful review, R.E.
j.

[kentuck14]

Both God and life are much deeper than most care to dive. You are so right R.E.
T

[MOON]

Lovely as usual, truly romantic.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, MOON,
j.

[Robert Trakofler]

inspire can come from most anything yet sometimes it comes out screaming hey look it!!! i like the whimsy juxtaposed with the solidity in the lines of your audience

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, bunny,
j.