the Final Tea Time (Green Jacket and Tie required)

the Final Tea Time (Green Jacket and Tie required)

 

 

 

swish, swoosh, swash

like an iron making contact 

with that little white orb

in the tall grass of life

the rough,

 

greens are smooth and even

like temperament needs be

when clouds threaten to postpone

our journey

 

cause us to take a drop

somewhere in the fairway of wisdom

we think the right choice of club

but decisions are often tenuous

 

our shot at life,

may find our dreams

falling into the cup of hope

 

friends and family give us that light applause

swish, swoosh, swash

 

did you hear me coming 

down the 18th hole of redemption

i think i see the eagle flying

 

a little birdie told me so

just before i signed the scorecard

that kept track of my existence.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/25/19 

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

never thought of keeping my score ... afraid if i try i will be helplessly lost in the rough .. stuck in the trap ... i went golfing once with two friends from HS .. i did my best to say no but they convinced me .. so i went .. i didn't cheat .. after about 4 holes of 9 they decided to pay through so i was left behind ... i ditched the score card at about 98 strokes .. but played the whole course and found them relaxing in the club house ..needless to say .. i was not invited again :} thanks for sharing your green day sir .. fun experience for me
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate that you could find a way to relate to this, E. thanks for sharing your experience....FORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ..................

[Lorry]

Life is like a round of golf, but pray tell, what do I do if I've landed in an exotic birds nest at the top of a tree and playing the shot will smash the eggs and mean the possible extinction of a species?
A speedy response would be appreciated, as its quite tricky clinging to the top of a tree with a golf club and typing at the same time. 😀
I like this one Jacob. The many similarities tween life and golf will now never leave me.
I think this may be a hole in one 😀

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you Lorry...and here is my advice...Take a Drop, You are only losing one stroke, and the eggs will be safe.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Wow Jacob... I was my father's Caddy when he played golf...
so I can conceive your approach to romance. Now that I am
green with envy, I applaud your genius extraordinary. truly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Pat...and sharing that you were your dad's caddy...i used to play a lot of golf but never enjoyed it as much as caddying which i did at a nice club, Big Run in Lockport, Ilinois..
quite the course...and had lots of interesting experiences caddying...was fun to do this one.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Yes... very interesting... a good reason for exercise and even to clear your mind of nonsense and concentrate on that little white ball that sometimes had a mind of it's own. My Dad had a total breakdown studying religion which I will never do.
But through the years, when I went to Thrift Stores, I wold buy a whole set of Golf Clubs, because I knew how important they are at times... but my Dad never went back to golfing, but did divorce my Mom and had a girlfriend who was a school teacher, so maybe he learned some things after all. I took up Snow Skiing in California for a Winter, and then on the East Coast in Pennsylvania for a Winter vacation. truly tired. Pat

[barleygirl]

Never been interested in golf, but with Pebble Beach just down the road, we get golf breezes around these parts! *wink! wink!* I love how your golf references seem to be tongue-in-cheek rather than hoity-toity, which elevates the game in my opinion! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, Pebble Beach just down the road....that is pretty neat...love it when they play there.
i used to play a lot but liked caddying more than playing...and like watching it now, more than i ever enjoyed playing...but some of the announcers reflect how hoity-toity the game has gotten...I really hated the whole Country Club vibe...
the game itself was fun.
j.

[Neville]

I have never played golf and nor do I intend to, but that doesn't mean I dont have the greatest respect for whoever scores a hole in one ... and which I respectfully suspect you may have done here sir..... N

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Neville,
j.

[Laura Kate]

Very clever! My family on my Dad's side are all golfers, so although I don't play myself I can appreciate this and my family would also! I like the notion of a scorecard tracking your existence, it gave me the impression of a repetitive existence, round and round the course we go....trying to impress and to succeed, taking the rough with the smooth, grey clouds coming to threaten our plans. I thought this was very clever and enjoyed the play on words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words and sharing your experience, Laura,
j.

[emmajoy]

' our shot at life, - may find our dreams - falling into the cup of hope '

When it comes to metaphors and swinging a club, you near enough beat everyone in the roughest manner, sir J. (Sorry, will stop with my try at... not succeeding with the same!) Few people have the skill and imagination to create such language.. here both are incredible.. Green with envy I am. What you've said within it all is so true too.. life is the roughest game, that's for sure.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you succeed quite well, em...you have a sharp wit which i truly enjoy...
thank you for your words,
j.

[R.E. Ray]

Even more clever than most others from you, J. Must say I identify with this one. I'm ashamed to say I spend most of my time off the fairway, plucking balls from the woods and water, too slow to the 18th. No green jacket for me, but I'll tip my Irish beer to you as I watch from the sandtrap.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you sound like my dad...when he played golf....he would get into the woods and never drop out...he would just keep trying to hit the ball out, hit more trees and get further into the woods...
he would be cussing up a storm...
thank you for your kind review.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Wow, a golf metaphor. This is certainly different and I enjoyed it! You are so clever. "birdie".....oh yea. I tip my hat to you! Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am surprised and pleased that some are enjoying this..thank you, Lydi...
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

You should not be surprised, Jacob. Give yourself more credit! You are a talented poet.

[Fran Marie]

you're just too good at metaphor writing ..smooth operator at using just the write words..at the right lines."a little birdie told me so"..like that
nice work as always

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Fran,
j.