grazing and gazing toward a once fertile past

grazing and gazing toward a once fertile past

 

 

an old gutted out barn

the cows never came home again

bales of rancid hay

years removed from use

pitchforked years of curdled milk

 

and buffed bank accounts

now withdrawn like the farmer's features

his thumb changes channels

on his antenna driven idiot box

as he recedes from life

 

there are no green pastures left,

he is widowed of a reason to exist

 

an old gutted out barn

in a painting,

hanging on the wall behind him

 

like his life.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/9/19

Reviews

[Patricia Wedel]

My last recollection of my Grandpa Dave... was when he was home
and listening to Hank Williams, Sr. records... one after another.
However, my best memories are when my Grandma Minnie milked their Cow
and Grandpa Dave walked the Horse-drawn Plow. They had no sad poems...
only happy memories... and we should do the same. The world belongs to the next
generation of lovers and poets. We are the parchment that holds their dreams.
Amen... Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I love this story...thank you for your kind words, Pat.
and i am glad they were immune to the sad poems..
and had those memories...i love your line "we are the parchment that holds their dreams."
very cool line...your response is better than the poem itself.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

You are too kind... like popping a cork on a bottle of wine.... a Celebration on borrowed time. Parchment is the best paper to pen a sigh or two. My poems are becoming a bit heavy... but we must carry on and leave marks with hearts and flowers and x's and o's.
and heirloom seeds to plant after we pass on. Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and what did Sylvia Plath famously say?
"readers want to know from someone who has been there and felt the worst; let the Ladies Home Journal blither about the happy stuff"----

[Patricia Wedel]

Jacob... I do understand... but I love the challenge...
however... too many failures can result in finally a
pleasant romantic discovery. My past is way too sad to pen as a poem. Thanks for sharing, as ever, Pat
pen as a poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but i feel so much inspiration from the past...i think like actors we use the past to conjure up emotions which we put into our words.
your poems always have such depth in wording and feeling.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

thank you j. Women love to put Bandaids on men's hearts... and vice versa... I feel safe with a "fan" and a "veil"... Pat

[Corset]

oh gosh Jacob, someone should teach him the joys of poetry I suppose. (or MMO's :D) rancid what a word, but hits the mark, I love rancid old barns though, I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I feel of this is sad but there is something beautiful in old things still waiting to be remembered.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh i loved any kind of barn, including the rancid ones...Vermont made me fall in love with cows and barns...thank you for your words, Corset,
j.

[Corset]

I bet Vermont is beautiful, never been there but the pictures are gorgeous.

[Corset]

This makes me think of my retired father watching old Gunsmoke reruns, but he still gets out there, just on on the rafters.

[Corset]

just not on the rafters

[jacob erin-cilberto]

if you have google earth...you can see where we stayed---the old farmhouse is still there...google in Tickle Naked Pond...that is where we swam and mostly fished...to the right of it is Bayley Hazen road....i think that is the name..if you follow that up the hill for a bit...on the right you see a big old farmhouse...white with black shutters and a wrap around porch...
that is where we stayed...
it's just a field across from it now....but that was pasture back in the day...and farther down the road to the left is an old grey shed...that was where we went after dinner to watch them milk cows...in fact...if we were done dinner early enough...i would go across the street and help Stuart herd the cows to the milking shed.
never saw a prettier place...and Vermont still does not have one billboard in the state...still the same rural place.
j.

[Corset]

I used to have it a while back on a older computer and it would drag and such , I had forgotten about it, I loved it! it would take you anywhere satellite would go! You remind me to go get it again! The only trouble with that is you have to have chrome and my computer runs best with Micro Edge, im gonna try it though

[jacob erin-cilberto]

if you do find the house or the shed or both...let me know...be curious as to your thoughts...the house still looks so good...and we were there in the 50's---
from the time i was born in '50 until "58....

[Corset]

I found the pond but there are a lot of houses there now and i didnt find the street that went with that pond i found it in a different pond so no but it is beautiful there for sure breath taking, and while i was at it i went to Italy, to Syracuse and spent hours there lol

[Corset]

i think i found it!!

[Corset]

omg is this it? I'd be loathe to ever leave: https://earth.google.com/web/@44.18977485,-72.09436368,293.92266846a,0d,44.66094872y,288.61529626h,90.71174393t,0r/data=ChUaEwoLL20vMDEzNHBwbDAYASABKAIiGgoWc214NXVqRG03MWlkaXBlb01NLXVqZxAC

[jacob erin-cilberto]

okay you are on the right road...which turns into Bayley Hazen....actually that barn belonged to Bud Nelson....we used to play in that barn...and his cows would graze and drink on the left of the beach where we swam.
stay on that road..in fact once you move the cursor back on to that road...you can just see the place we stayed all the way up on the right....follow that road up the hill..and you will find the White house with the black shutters and double garage...you are so close...then down that road about quarter mile more on the left is our gray milking shed...you are so close...

[Corset]

I found a house with lack shutters but I couldn't find the barn, but anyway that was fun, Vermont is beautiful, but cooold I bet in the winter

[Corset]

black not lack, I miss everything but the smell of manure XP

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you found it, i am sure...the barn had burned down before we even went there...
No barn...just the farmhouse...that is where we stayed...my room was upstairs...the window on the right...
yes, there is that smell...but i didn't mind...loved all the farm smells...we had such fun there.

[Lydia Shutter]

So very sad. After a long time marriage, the one who remains is often lost. It is not unusual for the surviving spouse to pass away soon after. You paint such a bleak picture here, Jacob. Your words are always artistic. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like how you caught the double reference of "widowed"
thank you for your kind words, Lydi.
j.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Words well painted and penned.
Like life, the past have a lot of impact; either good or bad.
But what really matters is never to worse than the past. I think this is a good lesson I learned from this piece.

well written, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Kay.
j.