the rattler's promise to the bluebird

the rattler's promise to the bluebird

 

 

regrets shed skin

molting malaise of memory

i fly backwards into the mirror

the clouds dodge my reflection

their tears at the ready

 

i didn't mind the rain 

until yesterday

now i pray for drought

and growing a new coat of paint

the colors might reflect better.

 

and the saturation

is making my heart

drop anchor.

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/26/19

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

Gets to the point where you can’t cry no more.you just got to pick up yourself and get back onto that horse!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is so true, andrew...so true.
j.

[Wondering Mind]

Very strong first stanza to a brilliantly expressed write.
Nicely done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Wondering Mind,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

This piece really hits the stomach. Such sadness here. "I fly backwards into the mirror" is the one line that impacts most heavily. There is much pathos in these lines and the rainfall represents tears that have fallen. You pray for them to stop so you can dust yourself down and try to pick up the pieces. Great work Jacob. Consistently producing work of the highest quality.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris...

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

sometimes the rain becomes unbearable when it seemed something totally fine the day before -- once again, your lovely imagery truly spans the depth and breadth of human emotion and draws the reader in -- you never disappoint, in my humble opinion.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for the kind words, Lyn,
j..

[Lyn Anderson]

I wish I could offer a critique, but I kinda can't :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I never cease to be amazed at your ability to find new ways of portraying such sadness. This has a touch of the surreal about it in a free verse filled with nuggets of poetry and emotion.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, John,
j.

[barleygirl]

We're satisfied with what life dishes out until we're not! That's me! I love the opening lines about shedding skin & molting malaise. Your imagery is popping more than usual! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Margie,
j.

[Leslie Philibert]

Fine use of alliteration in L2, and saturation is a great word, this is a fine poem that has thematic consistence, enjoyed reading this !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Leslie,
j.