Ticket

Ticket

 

 

i saw the train

your face in the window

the goodbye in your eye

 

at the crossing

idling heart

wanting to cross the tracks

 

of closure.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/7/19

Reviews

[Pete]

hard hitting. i guess it was a one-way ticket. not an easy trip but that juncture must be crossed in order to move on. i wonder how many movies have this very scene ... :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i have seen several movies...and have lived it as well...thank you, Pete,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

love anything with trains etc and everyday stuff, love this metaphor.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Julie,
j.

[kentuck14]

Wow . . . hope I don't stall on the tracks! Must have been Amtrak, right? Sure wasn't the Chattanooga Chew Chew! Another clever metaphor my friend.
T.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it was actually before Amtrack..it was the Illinois Central going up North...
thank you, Tom,
j.

[Crowley]

Man...this is a hard one. Beautiful in its round swell of emotion in such a short space and and heartbreaking in its vertical and horizontal span. Good s**t Jacob...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Crowley.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

So many departures like this over the years...I think though that diesel engines took all the romance out of those scenes...much more atmospheric with steam trains...the engine huffing and puffing and blowing off clouds of steam like a dormant dragon.
The hero in a trench coat and slouch hat...the girl in a lovely dress...head resting against the window...a solitary tear running down her cheek.
My grandfather was a railroad man and I'm old enough and was lucky enough to travel by steam train and actually go with him to the roundhouse...now long since gone.

So much out of so few words.
A good write, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing that about your grandfather and your kind review, Ted,
j.

[apennylate]

"Idling"...
Like cars, but trains...
Clever...
Do the tracks have "do not cross" warning barriers coming down...?
That always seems to be what keeps me from that sweet closure of soul...
Simple yet...
Not at all a simple thought...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Silente,
j.

[apennylate]

No, thank you for being a lighthouse of work...
Well... I mean, alright ill take your thank you, since you are forcing me... Hah

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob... I adore the old trains... where romance
was in the air... thinking of the Movie North by Northwest with Cary Grant...
and in the end Mount Rushmore. They don''t make movies like that any more...
nor does it happen often in real life. However, when we hear the words, "All Aboard"!!!"
we will jump at the chance to cross the tracks and take a chance. truly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Pat...and yes, they do not make movies like that...Alfred was one of the great directors if not the greatest.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

It all seems so real to me... when a movie has great actors and directors... truly, Pat

[Chris Shaw]

So visual, felt that sinking feeling knowing there isn't anything you can do except watch that train pull out of the station and then deal with the emotional wreckage afterwards. You packed a great deal into these very short lines Jacob and did so brilliantly. I've actually been part of this once, but I was the girl on the train and knew I wouldn't be going back. It was the end of the line.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

like the Traveling Wilburys sang? "End of the line" and i picture the video with the empty rocking chair with Roy's guitar in it.
thank you, my friend.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Yep, the end of the line and I love that song and that video with the rocking chair and guitar. Sheer genius. He was still there with them :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I play his greatest hits pretty often...that voice unbelievable...silky...love "Leah"--
i know we both like that group so much...how can you lose with Petty, Dylan, Harrison, Lynne and Roy?

[Chris Shaw]

They were a dream ticket. You couldn't beat that line up anywhere :))

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Short journey here Jacob. And like a train pulling away from the platform one is powerless to stop it, change it even when the wish to has crept in. Often when someone has decided that ticket is only one way. Another creative allegory that steeps the reader in images and emotions with a pithy offering.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, John,
j.

[h d e rushin]

thanks for being the great inspiration to the rest of us brother...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really appreciate that, dana...
you know your writing is always an inspiration for me. I have a very close friend who is the head librarian at John A. Logan where i teach, and he is from Detroit...he shows me lots of pictures of it.
Go Motown! the best music ever.
I have to visit Detroit someday...i was only in Michigan once, visited a girlfriend who lived in Traverse City...
thanks again for the kind words,
j.
j.