writings unraveling

writings unraveling

 

 

scribble yarn

a tail sewn into a tale

a cat's frantic paw

trying to connect

then gets wrapped up in confusion

 

love

grows like the feline's nails

fast and sharp

and painful when struck suddenly

the bleed stains the material

 

the heart reassembled

but never the same

loose stitching

comes apart much too easily.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/28/19

Reviews

[Raven Starhawk]

The second stanza made me ever more curious as to how this may end. Remarkably penned and your use of metaphors are refreshing. Words have a way of conveying so much in so little space. The universe of language finds us capable of producing seamless pieces once we realize how express our inner most desires.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind and very poetic reply, Raven,
j.

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

Very creative piece
And beautifully penned.

Poetry heals our
wounds and pains
in life seems to
rip the wounds
back open.


the heart reassembled

but never the same

loose stitching

comes apart much too easily.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Benita,
j.

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

You're very welcome 👍

[Nearly Blonded]

your use of figurative language and metaphor is really lovely in this poem

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Is it possible to parse a life sentence? To break down those feelings to the lowest common denominator...and when the claws are retracted...does the bleeding stop...or thinking too much...do the stitches pull free, re-opening the wounds...drenching the material with blood until the scabs reform.

When do we finally put aside the Frankensteinian aspects of love and move on?

A good write, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah that poor Creature...and those torches all lit.
thank you for your words, Ted,
j.

[Anne Martin]

I enjoyed your playful metaphor, sewing together a painful subject. Well written.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Anne,
j.

[poetgurl]

i found this playful and cute toward the end. This is wonderful written.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Kimmie,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Poems or love when unraveled very rarely can be reinstated to their former glory. I have butchered poems by working on them too much. Once that happens you might as well give up. Same with relationships. Once broken, the effort required to mend them probably isn't worth it. There does come a point of no return. Much to consider in this short poem Jacob. Great metaphors here.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris....appreciate your insight and your feeling this one.
j.

[adichie]

Well done... that is so Shakespearean, my friend!!! A play within a play.:):)

I don’t think I’ve ever seen love described as a cat’s claws, that is unique metaphor, and the way you incorporate the visual and the tactile while describing emotion adds another layer of elegance. Makes me think of Umberto Eco’s La Semiotica, with its codes and subcodes. All of this in three stanzas of poem.

You, sir, are a talented writer!!!

Adix

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Adix,
j.

[adichie]

My pleasure.

[Pryde Foltz]

Such find craftsmanship and expression. Bravo:)1

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Pryde...and so nice to see you again...
j.

[gram linski]

Pure poetic genius, j. if my writing unravelled like this I would die a happy man.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, gram,
j.