This would make an epic song j.! The winding together and apart of lives, things we lose and how they affect us throughout time, the hard knocks of living in need, the protective walls we build- superb and fraught with symbolism and deep meaning. Love the purity and impact of the lines, the repetition, the musicality, the references. “A mother lost a mother”- “a heart bought at Woolworth’s Five and Dime”. Truly hits home. One to remember and save.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
thank you, Annette...yes, this poem is very close to my heart...my mom and what she went through...<.. read morethank you, Annette...yes, this poem is very close to my heart...my mom and what she went through...
thank you for your words,
j.
brother, this is tragedy, which i love, but i don't even know what to say this time.so good job! of course, your leaving/learning repttition is effective but the messages inbetween are far more forceful. good job, fellow. you are someone a person can learn from.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
thank you for your kind review, MondaineGarcon,
j.
The early death of a parent leaves scars on a child. I see a mother dying here, and a father unable to cope with nurturing his daughter. She loses them both and herself as a consequence. Sounds like she well and truly went off the rails. Sad poem. Children need the love of parents to ensure they have a balanced outlook.
Chris
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
thank you for your words, your reply is quite insightful..sometimes i will share the story with you... read morethank you for your words, your reply is quite insightful..sometimes i will share the story with you.
thanks Chris.
j.
Not to detract from the demise of Woolworths. But did things fall into your pocket too.
Death, and the consequences of death. The moat that could never really protect the mind.
The unravelling in this poem is so tangible. You know the end, but you still want to know the end.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
ha ha, on the things falling into the pockets...
thank you for your kind review, Paul.
.. read moreha ha, on the things falling into the pockets...
thank you for your kind review, Paul.
j.
Death comes as an intruder to disrupt and in the eyes of a child difficult to put into perspective. A parenthood distant and detached and young heart seeks solice in exploration of the forbidden fruit. But later regret and all the angst sees psychological barriers raised. An interesting piece indeed Jacob.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
thank you for your kind words and insight, John,
j.
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at a community college and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. I am here to read for inspiration from other po.. more..