it's in the splatter

it's in the splatter...

 

 

sinister collaboration

thoughts in confused reticence

like devious gnomes

adhere to reckless keys

 

dubious delivery

of decadent denotations

turned covert connotations

 

spun in secretive exposure

lacking any sense of composure

 

an aberration

of incontinence 

producing uncomfortable poems

with arduous ease.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/9/19

Reviews

[gram linski]

producing uncomfortable poems with arduous ease, loved this line, it sounds like me, heehee, no crime here, walk on, and don't look back in anger

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, gram,
j.

[Paul Bell]

I would love to use big words, but when you think the Thesaurus is a dinosaur you're definitely onto plums.
To many plums do put into the toilet though, and toilets are sometimes the only place you get peace to write poems. Like the rhyming, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Paul, they gave me a smile...
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“An aberration of incontinence”-yes, verbal diarrhea is never pretty and oh the spatter it makes! You have made your point eloquently and on so many levels of brilliance here j. Metaphor, imagery, language, assonance, alliteration- off the charts perfect. Hemingway wrote the rule and you have punctuated here for us all. Thank you!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for that very kind review, Annette,
j.

[DawnMichelle]

I admire the attention you paid to assonance in this poem.. you produced some really effective words here.. I could actually picture you in my mind writing away.. I enjoyed this poem very much

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Dawn,
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

I liked the alliteration and rhyming here because you so rarely use them. Yes, the "dubious delivery" of some words on this site is amusing to me at times. Pick a few big words and throw them on the page to see how people will interpret the words that really mean nothing to begin with. I do sometimes feel uncomfortable reading this sort of poetry. The poets must be proud of themselves when they gather lots of reviews though. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so proud, but i wonder if a little bit guilty at all?
thank you for your kind review, Lydi...
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Guilt? Hey we don't need no stinkin' guilt! :)

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I guess that here is not the only place spring has sprung with her delicious devious passions! It is so good to have you back at the cafe with all your brilliance and beautiful poetry.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Queenie...it has been good to have this time to come back ...i have been able to read so much of others' work and really get inspired.

j.

[AYVID N]

I find it interesting to try and delve into the psyche of a poet with your words here, Jacob. Churning out the abstract or the vague comes easy to some, often accompanied by a misplaced feeling of grandeur. And if one is in a hurry to put it all out there, anything goes. Those devious gnomes give little thought to the reader.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so true...or they just want to sound so sophisticated....but it shines through when the words are big and the themes not really a definite thread through the poems...we just kind of read and say to ourselves, "what is this?"
thank you, DIVYA.
j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and artists like Pollack...always wondered with how he did his work...if he really ever meant anything by it or just like splashing with his brush, randomly.
j.

[AYVID N]

I've tried to appreciate abstract but mostly unsuccessfully. Some do have an acquired taste for it.

You're most welcome Jacob.

[Einstein Noodle]

well.....when it hits the fan there is most certainly to be a splat or two ;} abstract runs all the risks of dubious, reckless and secretive ... when i read this i think mostly of some lurid subplot ... swirling about in false premises :))))))))))) when the devil is asked to play ... best be ready to dance eh!? i like this one a lot ... very fine use of the language ... the alliterations are intelligent and a delight to roll off the tongue ... pretty hefty closing punch ..incontinence can never be very comfortable ... maybe newborns enjoy the warmth while it lasts ... but of course any parent and care giver can testify .. that don't last long .... and then the demands begin
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for your insightful and very kind review, E.
j.

[Margie F]

Personally, this poem makes me smile, as I recall a few sinister collaborations of my own. "Spun in secretive exposure; lacking any sense of composure" reminds me of a friendship I had that was based so much on writing (and everything was a pun it felt like, or some play on words, totally irreverent and fun). That led to my poem "I Killed Someone Today." Unfortunately, it wasn't written as a collaboration.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Margie...appreciate your words...

j.

--

[andrew mitchell]

Those last two lines are brilliant, Shakespeare would have loved to have used those lines. A powerful write on a artist, one lives by the sword , one dies by the sword for how the readers pass judgement in an accepting or unaccepting way. This one is a gem of yours right up on the top of all your other gems.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, andrew.
j.