soaring aground

soaring aground

 

 

 

when splashdown occurs

no will to encumber afterthoughts

the writing survives one way or another

capsulized life in verse

 

the conundrum of landing in the proper plane

dimensions of didactic delivery

yet they are all in a spatial recognition

cognizant only of their own semantic judgments

 

and here i am 

alone in the space

i created by sending moot missiles

flying chaotically sound.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/7/19

Reviews

[lua]

i find the perspective created by your words truly fascinating, each verse becomes increasingly abstract whilst closing in on the narrator, existing in the abstraction that has come of their own thoughts and actions, a really rich metaphor
i love that final juxtaposition of "chaotically sound", it brings the piece to a calm finality

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, lua,
j.

[Mark Mendoza]

This was very cool, I felt as though I was dwelling on every thought - that was to be penned by the writer . Then realizing the dream, of being of an explosion of uh... Something anyhow. Thank you for sharing, was cool to read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

appreciate your words, Mark.
j.

[DawnMichelle]

I admire your writing, the poems you are sharing are reminding me of where I want to go. I've only posted one poem on this site.. it's old, and I know it needs work but I'm pretty sure I won't get honest reviews from most of the people on this site. If you ever find time to give me one I would greatly appreciate something from you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words and yes, i have responded to your poem already...
thanks again for the review, and you will get honesty from me...
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Yes, our lives are splashed across the page...whether behind curtains of ambiguity or right out there in the open. Sometimes I read through older poems of mine to remember why I wrote them. It's a diary of sorts. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Lydi...and as for your poems..i am glad we have them.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you, Jacob. Glad to have yours as well. Lydi**

[andrew mitchell]

Once written, once published, it is sealed in the public gallery. Love the metaphors in this piece, very clever.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, andrew,
j.

[Terra]

From where I am standing, those moot missiles resemble shooting stars.
I think anyone who chooses to express themselves creatively can find harmony in this piece. It was so lovely, I think I read it five times.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Terra,
j.

[TealDreamer]

I really liked this, I feel like I can really feel the emotion. I like the way it's written too the words you used were very powerful!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, TealDreamer.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This immediately made me think of Space X for obvious reasons but picking at the allegory that tells of the survival of the artist in the aftermath of the disaster (of a failed relationship for example).Loved the alliteration in this one Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, John,
j.