for richer or poorer

previously posted work...revised...

for richer or poorer

those damned dippers ---   

galactic shoe shine

stars of patent leather accord

footstompin' music across a universe of white carpet

 

the chill is outer worldly

but the flakes

are just crazy humans

with expensive coats

 

running around with no gloves

to cover their temperament

and the insensitivity angrily melts 

the impoverished snowman before they can hurl insults

and jab him with their silver spoon shovels...

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/8/19

Reviews

[Neville]

let it be known.. there is no man above man... for a moment tho I thought I had been here before & merely wiped out... at least I've been reworked.. maybe... feels better second time round...
N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was hoping this would be better the second time around, maybe make more sense...thank you, Neville...'
j.

[Neville]

most certainly enjoyed again..
N.

[andrew mitchell]

for richer or poorer, the ice poles are melting, drowning our thoughts bringing us all together as equals regardless of wealth..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful comment, andrew,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

A powerful message here. I see the injustice of this situation clearly. Yes, it works well Jacob.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks so much, Chris....you really helped this one along...
I have you to thank for finally making sense.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Happy to have been able to have my thoughts listened to Jacob.

[Saoirse K.]

the scourge of celebrity culture
and the injustice of poverty
poignantly put on display
in a museum of art
with signs all around that say
"Please touch, collaborate!"
it's a shame some are held so high aloft
that not even the tallest of humans
fixed to the honest ground
could but scratch the heel of a boot
mirror shined and shimmering like that cosmic tapestry
so far removed and untouchable
perhaps we ought to turn our gaze
back to the horizon where stars set
and eyes meet, on the level

powerful piece
nicely done

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, on the level would be so nice...we all matter in the end....and can't take rich with us when we die.
thank you for your really insightful and kind review,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I loved these words. Danced to perfection and left something for the reader to ponder. Thank you Jacob for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Coyote,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This has echos of another work of yours Jacob. The chill of having no love in ones life is brutal enough to create the storm in us.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

same poem that has been revised....was called by the first line here.
I must put that in my description...
thanks, John.