that odd shade of green

that odd shade of green

 

 

the forecast is empty

weather map is a blank board of trust

love skipped through a rain filled puddle

of pedestrian fiction

 

honesty fell in one big raindrop of fear

confidence became a boot in the mud of misgivings

a relationship front became thoughts in the back

of a troubled mind

 

and two hearts once bathed in azure blue 

as cloudbursts screamed across their sky,

became an entity for the ten o'clock news

as another dreary outlook

 

and a future dark and damaging as an incoming

 

t

w

i

 s

t

 e

r...

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/27/19

Reviews

[lua]

whenever i read your work, one of the elements i take greatest pleasure from is your structure, i relish poetry that creates its own punctuation through the lack of it on the page and you do it so well
this poem shapes itself so well and breaking down the word "twister" evokes such an ominous feeling within, one i could only imagine one would feel before an approaching twister

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, lua,
j.

[Neville]

Wow.. now where did that come from.. am contemplating these amazing words just as the storm Freya is about to remove half me thatch..... less of a forecast but thanks for the premonition jacob.... N :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Neville,
j.

[Neville]

pleasure sir & true..
N.

[Onlyme]

Forecasters tale of different relationships. Some that beat the storm and others that don't last. And others that are ripped to pieces. Nicely done Jacob. Entertaining and fun to read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Dawn..
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Unfortunately this made me think of my favourite weather girl (lol) and then I went through the tempest of changing seasons as she and I came together only for her to let me down by because she said sunny and I was caught in a rain storm sans jacket! Clever allegory as always Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh, they lie, don't they?
ha ha.
thanks for the words, John,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

I found your lines amusing Jacob. All the terms the weather forecaster conveys but with relationships in mind. Too many cold fronts by far. Watch out for those twisters they wreak havoc. Clever write.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris...appreciate your kind words,
j.