an artist's rendering

an artist's rendering

 

 

outside the lines,

the sketch is pressing hard upon my heart

drawing circled emotions 

in askew remnants

 

inside the words

chaotically cursive

foul language of broken shards of you

 

like a shattered window

that needs compensation for its pane

 

my pencil is dragging

the page

a poor representation

of how you made me feel

 

when my fingers were more nimble.

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/9/19

Reviews

[Kelly Scheppers]

Metaphorically speaking, no one comes close to you, Jacob. It's a talent you exude that I've long admired, and it just seems appropriate to tell you from time to time, so that you never forget what a gift it truly is - that YOU truly are!

"My pencil is dragging
the page
a poor representation
of how you made me feel."

...bingo!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You are such a kind soul, Kelly....thank you for your words,
j.

[Ghost writer]

I relate to this so much, I'm an amatuer artist and I really get the sensations you describe. the circled emotions makes me think of the way my friend draws emotions, and I often compare myself to a window, broken, see through, sharp, hard.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, WeakFreak. I appreciate how you related to this piece.
j.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

It's never enough, however to try to convey ourselves, the strokes of a paintbrush or through the pen on paper, there's just a touch incompleteness when it comes to feelings. Your last lines really touched me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, YumnaKay...
j.

[emmajoy]

In this, you perpetuate your gift of making near wonder out of tragedy, that by a unique way of using language that speaks in rich colour and clarity. Strangly, the latter is spite of your ready skill with metaphors! They really do send those phrases into another dimension!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, em.
j.

[emmajoy]

You're very welcome.. I try!

[redzone]

yep, love is like this... shattered glass, bloody and messy and how artists paint the canvas with limp watches hanging from tree limbs and screams echoing on a bridge at sunset or self portraits with bandaged ears... often poetry, like paintings, are outside the lines, are filled with the metaphors and images of askewed language and the pane that needs replacing cause we can no longer see through them.... and you Jacob are an artist with a brush stroke that takes us on emotional journeys and we stare/read with awe and wonderment...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Curt,
j.

[Onlyme]

Oh, what a superb poem Jacob, of love and passion and even enthusiasm when it's in full bloom and when it turns bitter and sour. The pain just seeps from the wounds.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Dawn,
j.

[kentuck14]

That 3rd stanza is great coming off the 2nd! If I'm correct in my conclusion of this . . . the things we say to one another mean life or death to a relationship. I admit I love trying to figure out your little puzzles my friend.
Tom

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and how you read it is how it is..the reader owns the poem...thank you, Tom,
j.

[Lyn Anderson]

It is difficult to find the words sometimes to adequately express the feelings we have at the time. Somewhat forlorn, and tattered, the remnants of our past lives, but yet, sweet, and tender.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights and kind words, Lyn.
j.

[lightsong]

there is always something behind the words, more to be felt, in need to be felt, when there is so much inside and feelings trying the best to paint, when You even don't know what to do, what to say, what to write, how to express, here even the very simple of words will be bursting the page trying to reach out, and the genuineness of real feelings will be spreading all over, exactly as here, the fineness of Your words haunt my heart, and I've been there many many times... Thank You my friend for sharing the pure words of Your pure heart.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and your words are very kind in your review, Light,
thank you.
j.

[Lorry]

Then and now, compared in portrait of words, would be unrecognizable as being from the same mind, about the same person, and most likely the signatures wouldnt match either, as whatever caused that elegant calligraphy, has been replaced by a word document in sixteen point bold. Or is that just me? :)
A wonderfully written valentine of yesterday nonetheless Sir. Keep stretching those fingers.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, i appreciate your insights, Lorry,
j.

[Robert Trakofler]

Those are pretty darn nimble fingers my friend. Chaotically cursive....that's gonna stick in my mind for a while ha ha i love that

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you kindly, Bad bunny,
j.